IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Learning about the past has no value for those of us living in the present. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#value
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Some may believe that studying past past brings limited benefit towards current life,
however
Linking Words
, I have a different view towards
this
Linking Words
 idea. Learning from the past allows us to improve.
Public
Correct article usage
The public
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develop
Correct subject-verb agreement
develops
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 based on what they experience, including first-hand or second-hand knowledge. Through learning from past past, we are allowed to improve from previous wisdom.
For example
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, learning from
Correct article usage
the
show examples
past and transforming recording tools, allows
Use synonyms
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
 to improve and
further
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 refine the products that are more convenient. It proves learning acts as a base for
Use synonyms
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 to follow and correct the change in society.
In addition
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, understanding the past
also
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 works as a warning sign to help
Use synonyms
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 escape from mistakes and failures. In current days, we have united nations that countries work together to prevent wars and violence from
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
, we learnt how wars damage
public's
Correct article usage
the public's
show examples
 lives and the possible irreversible consequences. It shows that knowing past events would help us get rid of some mistakes and make us safe. Some may argue that focusing on the previous event will limit us from creation. Children are all full of creativity, but with the slow equation of past knowledge, their inspiration and ideas might be limited. If society
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 bound by walking as a transportation, how cars or planes be invented? It may be a possible cause of slow development in the world. Indeed, we can observe with better documentaries and effective communication, the world has improved massively in the past 100 years. It proves that sharing past experiences and trials, helps
Use synonyms
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 gather, invest and implement new ideas and knowledge, which makes understanding history valuable.
To conclude
Linking Words
, learning about the past benefits
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 as it provides a base for the new generations to improve and helps them to get away from mistakes.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and stick to that without diverging into too many tangents. This will help with logical structuring.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures and using more transitional phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
It's important to directly address the essay prompt in your introduction and conclusion to ensure that your position is clear from the outset and summarized effectively at the end.
task achievement
Expand more on your ideas and provide specific historical examples to illustrate your points. This will strengthen your arguments and provide a better task response.
task achievement
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic of history and improvement. This can make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive.
task achievement
Remember to focus on the question and include equal discussion on both sides if you are providing a balanced argument. Make sure that your conclusion aligns with the argument you've presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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