The data below shows information about energy production in a country in two separate years 1995: coal (29,8%), gas (29,63%), petro (29,27%), nuclear (6,4%), other (4,9%) 2005: coal (30,93%, gas (30,31%), petro (19,55%), nuclear (10,10%), other (0,10%)
The data below delineates the information regarding energy production in a country in 1995 and 2005.
Overall
, the majority of energy produced is the same in both years with some distinctions in each year's percentages.
The 4 biggest energies
being produced in the nation were coal, gas, petro
, and nuclear. Correct your spelling
petrol
This
is then
followed by several others with a very small proportion. In the initial year, coal was dominating with 29,80% proportion. This
is then
followed by gas with only a slight difference, just 0.17% less than coal and accounted for 29,63% overall
. Not very far after, Petro occupied the third position
with 29,27%. Afterwards, there was a major drop in percentage in the fourth position
with only 6.4%, which is Nuclear. Other energies
were also
produced with only 4,9% out of all the productions.
Ten years later, the number of percentages changed but the orders of the most produced energies
remained the same. Coal was still the biggest energy produced and rose slightly to 30,93%. The second position
, gas, also
experienced a small increase with 30,31% overall
. On the contrary
, even though Petro still sits in the third position
, it has dramatically decreased to 19,55%. Consequently
, Nuclear had a significant rise to 10,10% along with
other energies
that climbed up to 9,10%.Submitted by elissa223 on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure to have a clear introduction, overview, and conclusion to structure your essay effectively. In your introduction, paraphrase the given task and clearly state what the figures relate to. Your overview should summarize the main trends or differences. In this essay, the overview was missing.
logical structure
Work on paragraphing your essay clearly. Each paragraph should have a central idea, which is then elaborated with supporting details. In this essay, you should consider making separate paragraphs for each year's data for clarity and better logical organization.
supported main points
To better support your points, make use of more specific data from the given figures, especially for the year 2005 where there are inaccuracies with percentages for 'other energies' which should be 9,10%. Also ensure that all data is accurately compared and contrasted.
complete response
Your essay should fully cover the task requirements by providing a complete analysis of the data provided. In this essay, some of the specific data for 2005 were inaccurately reported which affects task achievement. Pay attention to detail and present all comparisons accurately.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop your ideas further with additional analysis. While you identified the order of energy productions and the changes in percentages, you could expand on the implications of these changes or consider more detailed comparisons. Include an overview to give a clearer comprehension of the data trends over the years.
relevant specific examples
Support your analysis with specific examples, such as mentioning important increases or decreases. In this case, discussing other specific patterns in the data, like the considerable decrease in petro in 2005, can help support your main points more strongly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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