Your local hospital has advertised for people to do unpaid work for helping at the hospital. You would like to do some work at the hospital in your free time. Write a letter to the hospital. In your letter: - Explain why you would like to do unpaid work at the hospital - say what type of unpaid work you would be able to do - give details of when you would be availble for this work. Write at least 150 words

#people #work #time #type #availble

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing you with

regards

Fix the agreement mistake

regard

show examples

to unpaid work at your hospital after seeing your advertisement for unpaid work. I have just

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

retired recently, and I would like to do some work at the hospital as I want to help

people

Firstly

, I have plenty of free time now and I thought it would be great if I could help you with my knowledge after serving 30 years at the Health Centre in the city centre.

Secondly

, helping

people

makes me happy. I can

quarantee

Correct your spelling

guarantee

you that I can help transportation of sick

people

and

cleaning

Wrong verb form

clean

show examples

the garden where front of the hospital's entrance. I had transported

people

from their

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

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hospital

Fix the agreement mistake

hospitals

show examples

on two

way

Fix the agreement mistake

ways

show examples

for almost 10 years.

In addition

, I have a great deal of experience of how to cut grass and water plants. I will be free after next week from Monday to Tuesday from 10 am to 3 pm. I am not able to be free at the weekends since I need to look after my house neither

pucblic

Correct your spelling

public

holidays. I look forward to hearing from you if my application

Change the verb form

goes

show examples

through. Yours faithfully, Atilla Ze

Submitted by matillazeyrek on Fri Jan 19 2024

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coherence cohesion

Please ensure each paragraph presents a clear and distinct idea. The logical structuring will improve by using transition words and clear topic sentences.

task achievement

It is important to expand on your reasons for wanting to do unpaid work and how your skills directly relate to the needs of the hospital. This will enhance the completeness of the response.

coherence cohesion

Check for mild grammatical errors which can detract from the clarity of your message.

task achievement

Consider providing more specific details about your availability, such as the possible duration of your commitment.

task achievement

Maintain a respectful and formal tone throughout the letter, which you have done adequately, but also ensure professionalism in discussing your skillset and experience.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

196 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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