IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart shows the results of surveys in one African country asking teenagers the main reasons for using their phones between 2016 and 2019.

The chart shows the results of surveys in one African country asking teenagers the main reasons for using their phones between 2016 and 2019.
#results #surveys #african #country #teenagers #phones
the pie chart shows the
proportion
 of
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 reasons
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 are used by teenagers in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 African state,
started
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 from 2016 to 2019.
overall
, social networks
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the biggest
proportion
 year by year, followed by email,
digital
Correct word choice
and digital
show examples
camera
Fix the agreement mistake
cameras
show examples
, and the least was
phone
 calls
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the smallest
proportion
. In 2016, social networks
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the total
proportion
,
whle
Correct your spelling
while
 in 2017 decreased to 48%.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
 2018
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 as much as 3% and in the
last
 year it
becomes
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
 which had 56%. There was
decreasing
Correct article usage
a decreasing
show examples
proportion
 of youth
used
Correct pronoun usage
who used
show examples
 their
phone
 for email.
in
Change preposition
From
show examples
 2016 to 2017
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
a
Change preposition
by a
show examples
percent and it was
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as in 2018 to 2019.
Digital
Add an article
The digital
A digital
show examples
 camera was used 15% in 2016 and it same as
2107
Change preposition
in 2107
show examples
.
while
 2018 and 2019 each are 18% and 20%.
Phone
 calls
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 only 10% in 2016. it
increasd
Correct your spelling
increased
 in 2017 became 13%, but decreased as much as 11% in 2018, and it became smaller in 2019 which had 5% only.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, phone with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
▼

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