Some say that the most important thing abpit beimg rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extend do you agree pr disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
believe that one of the prominent
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
pf
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
being affluent is that one can think of other
people
Use synonyms
's well-being. I, personally agree with the said notion because of mainly two reasons;
firstlt
Correct your spelling
firstly
first
, they have the ability to perform
varulus
Correct your spelling
various
charitable
works
Use synonyms
.
secondly
Linking Words
, they can create job
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
. To commence with, rich
people
Use synonyms
indeed have
decent
Add an article
a decent
show examples
amount of money. They are in the state
thay
Correct your spelling
that
they are capable
pf
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
working for the
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
of underprivileged
people
Use synonyms
who are even deprived of basic needs
such
Linking Words
as food, education, health facilities and shelter, with some portion of their money.
Afterall
Correct your spelling
After all
show examples
, there is the
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
of so many
people
Use synonyms
behind their success.
For example
Linking Words
, they have servants to do their household
Use synonyms
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
and employees for their
businessess
Correct your spelling
businesses
.
As a result
Linking Words
, they are
livng
Correct your spelling
living
luxurious life.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
have some responsibilities towards the
people
Use synonyms
of the society. They can help poor
people
Use synonyms
by doing some charity
Use synonyms
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. They can donate to NGOs and orphanages, which help to make
difference
Correct article usage
a difference
show examples
in their lives. They
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
can provide financial assistance directly to the needy one. Rich
people
Use synonyms
possess the power to change
individual's
Change noun form
individual
show examples
lives. To exemplify, Ratan Tada, the director of Tada Group donates 99% of his total net income and
also
Linking Words
operates two NGOs for helping needy
people
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, individuals who are living with welfare, have the capability to run any kind of business. with the establishment company or even shopping
mall
Fix the agreement mistake
malls
show examples
, they can help
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
consequently
Linking Words
, it will help them to
inprove
Correct your spelling
improve
their
overall
Linking Words
lifestyle.
For instance
Linking Words
, it not only
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
jobs during
construction
Add an article
the construction
show examples
period, but
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
after completion.
To sum up
Linking Words
, having
large
Change the article
a large
show examples
amount of capital can give
individual
Add an article
an individual
the individual
show examples
the confidence to work for
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
show examples
welfare. By conducting charity
works
Use synonyms
and generating employment, affluent class
people
Use synonyms
can spread positivity in
individual's
Change noun form
individual
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, society and nation
Submitted by promishtumrok654 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearly defined and more distinct. An introduction should engage with the topic directly and present a clear thesis statement, while the conclusion should effectively summarize the main points and restate your position without introducing new information.
logical structure
Work on the logical structure by organizing ideas more clearly and using paragraphs effectively. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and be well-developed with supporting sentences.
supported main points
Enhance the support for your main points by elaborating on ideas with more developed examples and explanations. Aim to fully explain how the examples you provide illustrate your points.
complete response
Address the task more completely by ensuring all parts of the question are answered directly. Expand your ideas to cover multiple perspectives and provide a more nuanced argument when discussing the extent of your agreement or disagreement.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive to express ideas more comprehensively and clearly. Avoid vague statements and ensure that each idea is fully developed before moving on to the next. Use appropriate transitions to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
relevant specific examples
Continue to include relevant and specific examples as they strengthen your argument. However, ensure that these examples are thoroughly explained and clearly linked to your main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: