IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie chart below show the main reason why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.

The pie chart below show the main reason why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
#show #reason #land #three #regions #world
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The figures illustrate the
number
Use synonyms
 of several reasons that have an
impact
Use synonyms
 on to decline productivity of agricultural
land
Use synonyms
, and the
number
Use synonyms
 of causes of
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 in North America,
Europe
Use synonyms
, and Oceania in the 1990s.
Overall
Linking Words
, over-grazing, over-cultivation, and deforestation
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 are the several main reasons that have an
impact
Use synonyms
 on the productivity of agricultural
land
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, North America,
Europe
Use synonyms
, and Oceania are the countries that experiencing
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
. From the pie chart,
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of over-grazing has a huge
impact
Use synonyms
 on agricultural
land
Use synonyms
 productivity,
while
Linking Words
 there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 7% other reasons. It can
also
Linking Words
 be seen that deforestation is the second factor why agricultural
land
Use synonyms
 becomes less productive. Meanwhile, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 caused by over-cultivation is only 28%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, based on the table, it is obvious that the highest proportion that make
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 in North America is over-cultivation with the
number
Use synonyms
 3.3%.
This
Linking Words
 is a different situation from
Europe
Use synonyms
 because the most impactful factor that causes
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 in
Europe
Use synonyms
 is deforestation.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, over-grazing has a huge
impact
Use synonyms
 on
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 in Oceania.
Submitted by zahra.ghaisanis on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, impact, land, degradation, europe with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: