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Writing Samples
Band 4

Modern technology, such as personal computers and the Internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home at least part of the time instead of going to an office every day. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

#technology #computers #internet #people #work #home #part #time #office #situation
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There are many new technology in our modern city like
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
, Internet,
Correct word choice
and Computer
show examples
Computer
Fix the agreement mistake
Computers
show examples
 are many new technology Nowadays, many
office
Change to a plural noun
offices
show examples
Add a missing verb
are provied
show examples
provied
Correct your spelling
provided
 to
work
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 home in their employ and they save a
lost
Correct your spelling
lot
show examples
 of
money
 and
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
increase
 their
knowlegde
Correct your spelling
knowledge
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will
discusesome
Correct your spelling
discuss some
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 and
disadantages
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disadvantages
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and pharapres some
point
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points
show examples
 on
below
Correct article usage
the below
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pharagrap
Correct your spelling
paragraph
paragraphs
. One of the
buring
Correct your spelling
burning
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
show examples
 of
to day's
Correct your spelling
today's
show examples
 world, there are many
factory
Fix the agreement mistake
factories
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 and
office
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offices
show examples
provied
Correct your spelling
provided
provide
 some
facelity
Correct your spelling
facility
 to their
workes
Correct your spelling
workers
show examples
 like
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 from
hom
Correct your spelling
home
.
This
 type of past worriers
save
Correct subject-verb agreement
saves
show examples
 a
lost
Correct your spelling
lot
show examples
 of
time
 and
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
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time
 with their children and
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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 care
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their home. For Reason, People go to
office
Add an article
the office
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
vechicles
Correct your spelling
vehicles
 and there you have a lot of traffic on the road. But
this
facelity
Correct your spelling
facility
 to save
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
 and employ
work
 Fast and
Incresed
Correct your spelling
Increased
 their idea.
For example
, employed
work
 from home and they take care
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 children and family.
Second,
company
manager
work
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 essy and
emial
Correct your spelling
email
 to
time
 to
time
. And companies save a
lost
Correct your spelling
lot
show examples
 of
money
. For explain,
manager
call
Change the verb form
calls
show examples
 their
workes
Correct your spelling
workers
show examples
 and send their
work
 to
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 and computer and workers and
employed
Replace the word
employees
show examples
 send their
works
Change the noun form
work
show examples
time
Change preposition
from time
show examples
 to
time
.
Hence
,
companes
Change noun form
companes'
compane's
show examples
expanes
Correct your spelling
expanses
expenses
 are
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
 and save a
lost
Correct your spelling
lot
show examples
 of
money
 because some
componies provied
Correct your spelling
companies provide
picud
Correct your spelling
pickup
 and
drop
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
facelity
Correct your spelling
facility
 in their
empolay
Correct your spelling
employ
 and
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
increase
 and save
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
money
. on the other
said
Correct your spelling
side
show examples
 of
coin
Add an article
the coin
a coin
show examples
, There are some disadvantages
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
manager
 call their workers
any
Change preposition
at any
show examples
time
 and send their
work
urgent
Change the word
urgently
show examples
. And
some
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
time
 some workers
missuses
Correct your spelling
misuses
show examples
this
facelity
Correct your spelling
facility
. For explain, some
manager
call
Change the verb form
calls
show examples
 their
employes
Correct your spelling
employees
show examples
 and watch their
employ
Replace the word
employees
show examples
.
For example
, Many staff have many problems like Back pain and bren problem
exs
Correct your spelling
as
 problem and many more.
For
Change preposition
In
show examples
concluson
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, There are many advantages to some
disadvantagie
Correct your spelling
disadvantage
disadvantages
 atre some
manager
 watch their
employ
Replace the word
employees
show examples
 to many
app
Change the noun form
apps
show examples
 like
zoom
Capitalize word
Zoom
show examples
 meeting and many more
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 my
oponion
Correct your spelling
opinion
 modern technology is
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 to many
employ
Replace the word
employees
show examples
 and
office
Fix the agreement mistake
offices
show examples
.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay is logically organized by using clear paragraphs to separate different ideas or points. Begin with an introduction that presents the topic, followed by body paragraphs that discuss advantages and disadvantages, and end with a conclusive paragraph that summarizes your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Make use of a variety of linking words and cohesive devices to connect ideas within and across sentences, such as 'Furthermore', 'However', 'For instance' etc.
task achievement
Address the task fully by providing a balanced view of both the advantages and disadvantages of working from home. Expand your points with specific examples and clear explanations to support your arguments.
task achievement
Work on the clarity of expression by constructing complete sentences with proper grammar, and making sure that ideas and arguments are clearly and comprehensively presented.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to support the advantages and disadvantages mentioned. These examples should illustrate the point you are making and help to explain why it is an advantage or disadvantage.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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