In some cultures, children are often told that they can acheive anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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In general, adults encourage

children

Use synonyms

to pursue their

dream

Fix the agreement mistake

dreams

show examples

emphasizing the importance of effort to succeed.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

encouragement has

its

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

both sides, positive

Correct word choice

and

show examples

negative.

This

Linking Words

essay will examine the pros and cons of telling

children

Use synonyms

that trying hard can secure

Remove the article

apply

show examples

success and my opinion before a conclusion. First of all,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

telling

children

Use synonyms

that hard work always pays off can allow

children

Use synonyms

feel

Fix the infinitive

to feel

show examples

confident

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that they are more likely to accomplish more.

Many researches

Fix the agreement mistake

Much research

show examples

on self-confidence demonstrated that

children

Use synonyms

who have positive thinking about their future could focus more on their tasks, and

as a result

Linking Words

, the possibility of success increased.

Moreover

Linking Words

, by teaching

importance

Add an article

the importance

show examples

of effort,

children

Use synonyms

can learn integrity and work ethics. Offsprings will take more ethical ways to succeed, not cheat

Change preposition

apply

show examples

to achieve goals.

However

Linking Words

, just emphasizing

endeavor

Change the spelling

endeavour

show examples

might make

children

Use synonyms

avoid

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

reality. Sometimes there is a time for individuals to quit what they have prepared for a long time

becuase

Correct your spelling

because

of the problems of

real

Add an article

the real

show examples

world,

such

Linking Words

as money, lack of ability, or

unfortune

Correct your spelling

unfortunate

events.

However

Linking Words

, if folks

immersed

Add a missing verb

are immersed

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

the feeling that "as I was taught earlier, if I make more effort to achieve

this

Linking Words

then

Linking Words

I can succeed",

this

Linking Words

can lead to

vicious

Add an article

a vicious

the vicious

show examples

cycle.

Therefore

Linking Words

, telling constantly to

children

Use synonyms

that

Rephrase

constantly that

show examples

the only condition for

ahievement

Correct your spelling

achievement

is trying hard can give them

wrong

Correct article usage

a wrong

show examples

perception

Change preposition

show examples

accomplishment.

To sum up

Linking Words

, teaching

children

Use synonyms

the importance of

endeavor

Change the spelling

endeavour

show examples

is beneficial for

children

Use synonyms

's confidence,

while

Linking Words

it can make young students obsessed with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

goals that

seems

Change the verb form

seem

show examples

to be nearly impossible to achieve. I think on balance that before they enter

Change preposition

apply

show examples

society, it is important to give them confidence by telling them "

you

Capitalize word

You

show examples

can do

everyting

Correct your spelling

everything

if you try hard."

This

Linking Words

sense of efficacy will give

children

Use synonyms

energy

Correct article usage

the energy

show examples

to try again if they fall down.

ywb516Fri Jan 19 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each body paragraph has a clear central topic and that the examples provided are specific and directly related to the topic sentence.

Task Achievement

Develop the main ideas with more detailed examples and explanations to demonstrate a full understanding of the topic and to support your argument more effectively.

Linguistic Range

Work on sentence structure and variety to improve the flow of ideas and make the essay more engaging.

Grammar

Proofread the essay to correct grammatical inaccuracies and enhance clarity.

Task Achievement

Expand upon the conclusion by succinctly summarizing both sides of the argument and presenting a final, reflective thought on the subject.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can acheive anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe that they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Children spend a lot of time watching TV and playing computer games; however, it does not help in improving their mental abilities. Do you agree or disagree.