Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both these views!

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Few

people

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believe that

health

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is a person's own responsibility

while

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some others believe that governments are the ones who need to be held accountable for the public's balanced diet.

This

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essay is going to explore more about the two statements. On the one hand, governments indeed have their own roles in ensuring that citizens can live healthily by making rules and instructions about

people

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's eating behaviours.

This

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is usually managed by the Ministry of

Health

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while

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following the World

Health

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Organization's international guidelines.

For instance

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, the Ministry of

Health

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in Indonesia has made several policies about how many fibres, carbohydrates, proteins,

natrium

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atrium

, water, and other sources of nutrition each person should consume daily. They

also

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have educated the public to make sure that they know about those suggestions.

On the other hand

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, lack of motivation has proven to be the stem of many illnesses. A significant number of

people

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find it hard to control their eating habits and they

also

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do not have the need to change that.

Consequently

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, they consume all these unhealthy and ultra-processed foods that are extremely high in calories and bad for the body.

For example

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, recent research conducted by the University of Indonesia about their students' consumption has shown that around 76% of them do not consume enough fibre and consume refined sugar excessively every day.

To conclude

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, governments have indeed made recommendations for their citizens to follow.

Nonetheless

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, statistics have shown that lots of

people

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do not follow those because they do not have the motivation to live a certain way.

elissa223Fri Jan 19 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to include a detailed introduction that clearly states the topic and outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay. Also, provide a clear thesis statement to guide the reader.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that relates directly to the thesis statement or question. Follow this by supporting sentences that expand on the topic sentence with examples or explanations.

coherence cohesion

Use a broader range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more effectively. This includes conjunctions, pronouns, and transitional phrases to ensure the smooth flow of information from one sentence to the next.

task achievement

In the conclusion, restate your thesis or the main points of your essay to reinforce your arguments. Make sure your conclusion is a summary of your main points and does not include any new information.

task achievement

To improve in providing relevant and specific examples, ensure that the evidence you provide directly relates to the point you're making. Additionally, use a variety of sources for your examples to demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health-conscious decisions
self-discipline
informed choices
personal accountability
regulating food industries
implementing policies
healthy eating
public health campaigns
subsidies for healthy food
enabling environment
accessible
affordable

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Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both these views!

Write a letter to the manager of the sports club. In your letter, -introduce yourself -say why are you interested in this sports club -ask some questions about the club e.g facilities, membership, costs etc. Write at least 150 words.

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Some poeple say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that no one should work after the age of sixty-five while others say that they can work as long as they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion.