Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both these views!

Few
people
believe that
health
is a person's own responsibility
while
some others believe that governments are the ones who need to be held accountable for the public's balanced diet.
This
essay is going to explore more about the two statements. On the one hand, governments indeed have their own roles in ensuring that citizens can live healthily by making rules and instructions about
people
's eating behaviours.
This
is usually managed by the Ministry of
Health
while
following the World
Health
Organization's international guidelines.
For instance
, the Ministry of
Health
in Indonesia has made several policies about how many fibres, carbohydrates, proteins,
natrium
Correct your spelling
atrium
, water, and other sources of nutrition each person should consume daily. They
also
have educated the public to make sure that they know about those suggestions.
On the other hand
, lack of motivation has proven to be the stem of many illnesses. A significant number of
people
find it hard to control their eating habits and they
also
do not have the need to change that.
Consequently
, they consume all these unhealthy and ultra-processed foods that are extremely high in calories and bad for the body.
For example
, recent research conducted by the University of Indonesia about their students' consumption has shown that around 76% of them do not consume enough fibre and consume refined sugar excessively every day.
To conclude
, governments have indeed made recommendations for their citizens to follow.
Nonetheless
, statistics have shown that lots of
people
do not follow those because they do not have the motivation to live a certain way.
Submitted by elissa223 on

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task achievement
Make sure to include a detailed introduction that clearly states the topic and outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay. Also, provide a clear thesis statement to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that relates directly to the thesis statement or question. Follow this by supporting sentences that expand on the topic sentence with examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Use a broader range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more effectively. This includes conjunctions, pronouns, and transitional phrases to ensure the smooth flow of information from one sentence to the next.
task achievement
In the conclusion, restate your thesis or the main points of your essay to reinforce your arguments. Make sure your conclusion is a summary of your main points and does not include any new information.
task achievement
To improve in providing relevant and specific examples, ensure that the evidence you provide directly relates to the point you're making. Additionally, use a variety of sources for your examples to demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • health-conscious decisions
  • self-discipline
  • informed choices
  • personal accountability
  • regulating food industries
  • implementing policies
  • healthy eating
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies for healthy food
  • enabling environment
  • accessible
  • affordable
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