The diagram illustrates how bees produce honey

The diagram illustrates how bees produce honey
The diagram provides the steps of how
bees
produce
honey
with images and numbers, making the illustration easy to read and analyze.
Firstly
, the
bees
are gathered in their
hive
, which is a container where
bees
live.
Secondly
, the insects will fly around to search for flowers, aiming for the
nectar
.
Nectar
is a sweet liquid that produced by the flowers.
Thirdly
, the
bees
will collect the
nectar
,
then
they will bring it to their
hive
, specifically
put
Wrong verb form
putting
show examples
the
nectar
on the cells
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their home.
Furthermore
, the
bees
will perform a movement on the
hive
, resulting
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
liquid
to evaporate
Change the verb form
evaporating
show examples
, changing it to the gas as the water evaporation begins.
Finally
,
honey
is produced from the
hive
, as the circle will
remains
Change the verb form
remain
show examples
the same over and over again. In conclusion,
honey
production
require
Change the verb form
requires
show examples
lots of effort from the
bees
. They have to find flowers to take nectars from them and organize
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
hive
, conduct a movement first to start the water evaporation,
hence
producing the
honey
.
Submitted by asmaningrum2125 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words bees, honey, hive, nectar with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: