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Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. What do you think is the reason for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#forms #leisure #activity #countries #adults #reason #development
Today, online shopping is the most popular
way
 to refresh the minds of young people aged 18 to 26 in many ASEAN countries.
This
 essay claims that engaging
way
 in online selling is essential to make young adults shop from e-commerce, and I think it leads to a negative development since
this
 technological development can make younger people spend a lot of money rather than just buying their necessities. In Indonesia, we have several online platforms that offer a simple
way
 to purchase young adults’ wishlists,
for example
, Shopee and
Tiktok
Correct your spelling
TikTok
show examples
. They provide an attractive shop window of products and sometimes do live shopping to suggest the product description and young adult consumers can ask some questions related.
For example
, TikTok Live can show the display of the real products in use that the users can enjoy for a long duration. That appeal will influence younger people to gain more interest in the products and check out straight
afterward
Change the spelling
afterwards
show examples
 from their account.
According to
 many e-commerce platforms that Indonesia has, it is undeniable that can have bad consequences for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young adult to increase their spending habit. Attractive online selling can persuade users to impulse buy trivial things that they don’t really need, supported by massive promotions during live sales. That situation can make customers shop until
drop
Correct subject-verb agreement
drops
show examples
 and it can be bad for their financials.
For example
, shopee live selling offers promotions and discounts during the live sessions, attracting customers to buy stuff at the moment as
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 happens. It can be a bad habit that can affect many serious aspects later in the younger generation’s future. In conclusion, the rising
way
 of online shopping happens through massive live selling at e-commerce and the worsening development of these popular ways is it can lead
younger
Add an article
the younger
show examples
 generation to spend a lot of money than it should be.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Introduction
Be sure to have a clear introductory sentence that clearly addresses the essay question and sets up the structure of your essay. Avoid general statements that do not directly respond to the prompt.
Development of Ideas
Develop your ideas more fully by expanding on how the reasons you mention (such as live selling) lead to shopping becoming a leisure activity. Explain why these factors are specifically appealing to young adults.
Coherence
Provide clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument.
Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases (consequently, therefore, hence) to connect your points more clearly and show their relationship to each other.
Conclusion
In your conclusion, summarize your main points more effectively by restating the reasons for the trend and its implications. Make sure it clearly reflects the points you made in the body paragraphs.
Supporting Examples
While you provide specific examples, such as the mention of Shopee and TikTok lives, ensure that examples are directly related to supporting your argument about the reasons for the trend and its positive or negative nature.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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