IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that the best way for the government to solve traffic congestion is to provide free public transport 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree?2017.1.21 2014.1.9

#people #government #traffic #congestion #transport #hours #week
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, some
people
Use synonyms
 suggest that the government offering free
transport
Use synonyms
 every minute of every week would effectively solve traffic jams. Personally, I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 suggestion. It is understandable to give
this
Linking Words
 suggestion; it encourages
people
Use synonyms
 rather than private vehicles to take public
transport
Use synonyms
 to reduce traffic volume, especially during the rush hour.
However
Linking Words
, carrying out
this
Linking Words
 policy means there is no income for the government on public
transport
Use synonyms
, which leads the government to raise the taxes to cover the employee salaries and keep public
transport
Use synonyms
 running free of charge.
Hence
Linking Words
, the pressure has transferred to the taxpayers to charge extra, which not everybody is willing to do
so
Rephrase
apply
show examples
. At the same time, it is a waste of resources and time to let public
transport
Use synonyms
 work freely every moment, which does not help with traffic congestion at all. Fewer
people
Use synonyms
 are using public
transport
Use synonyms
 during midnight and working hours. It is pointless to run all public
transport
Use synonyms
 during the night, as it may cause increasing carbon emissions and light pollution. In the long term, the damage to nature is enormous. The importance that has been neglected all the time is the prize is not the determining factor that affects
people
Use synonyms
’s choice of
transport
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 would like to focus more on convenience, sanitation, and how comfortable they feel.
For example
Linking Words
, compare the price of a single ticket to
people
Use synonyms
’s total income it is relatively cheap in general, enough to make
people
Use synonyms
 affordable.
Instead
Linking Words
, it is a sensible choice to add more routes or trips during rush hours.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 suggestion, not only because of the tax raise but
also
Linking Words
 because of the huge impact on human natural society, which is irreversible.
Besides
Linking Words
, some solutions,
such
Linking Words
 as adding more routes or trips to dissolve the huge population during rush hours.
Submitted by l2334993624 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider incorporating more specific examples to support your arguments. This will help in strengthening the points you make and provide a clear context to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs to enhance the overall coherence. This may involve using clearer linking words or phrases to guide the reader through your essay in a more structured way.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and complete response to the prompt, addressing the issue of free public transportation thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
You have a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your arguments.
supported main points
Each paragraph presents a main idea that is relevant to your overall argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: