Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?
Today, a large number of people have been opting to communicate through a technological way
instead
of doing it directly to the person. In my point of view, this
fact is not achievable for everyone and contributes negatively to social connections.
Online communication requires specific electronic equipment, services and conditions. Thus
, not everyone has the financial stability to afford it. Mostly, equipment suitable to maintain online connection uses the internet as the primary ingredient for communication becoming successful. And all
of that equipment and the internet itself demand costs, and, around the world, still Correct word choice
All
exist
people with financial gaps. Verb problem
apply
For instance
, at
the pandemic time, there were several news about students Change preposition
during
uncapable
of achieving school results just because they could not be in online classes.
Correct your spelling
incapable
On the other hand
, the increase in socialising through computers or mobile phones doesn't foment social relationships and contributes significantly to isolating human beings. There are some surveys that show us how social connections have declined, especially among the younger community. The scientific community even established an association between technological development and the amount of friendship in the school environment. The less interaction the youngers
maintain, the less social skills they absorb.
In conclusion, the advanced digital ways of communication obligate a financial status, which is not the real situation for every person. Correct your spelling
young people
Additionally
, even money situation and life stability influence access to online interaction. Moreover
, this
situation per se does seem to contribute to accentuating the gap between human interaction and, consequently
, generating a lack of social relationships.Submitted by maria_miguel- on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Although present, your introduction could directly address the question more explicitly by stating whether the trend is positive or negative. Your conclusion does restate your position, which is good practice.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices throughout your essay to link ideas and paragraphs together smoothly. Attempt to use a mix of simple and complex structures to show range.
task achievement
Expand your main points with more detailed and developed examples. While you have given some examples, they are somewhat general and do not fully illustrate the impact or demonstrate the points in depth.
task achievement
Make sure to answer all parts of the question. In this essay, address both sides of the argument to fully meet the task requirements.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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