Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

Today, a large number of people have been opting to communicate through a technological way

instead

of doing it directly to the person. In my point of view,

this

fact is not achievable for everyone and contributes negatively to social connections. Online communication requires specific electronic equipment, services and conditions.

Thus

, not everyone has the financial stability to afford it. Mostly, equipment suitable to maintain online connection uses the internet as the primary ingredient for communication becoming successful.

And all

Correct word choice

All

show examples

of that equipment and the internet itself demand costs, and, around the world, still

exist

Verb problem

apply

show examples

people with financial gaps.

For instance

Change preposition

during

show examples

the pandemic time, there were several news about students

uncapable

Correct your spelling

incapable

of achieving school results just because they could not be in online classes.

On the other hand

, the increase in socialising through computers or mobile phones doesn't foment social relationships and contributes significantly to isolating human beings. There are some surveys that show us how social connections have declined, especially among the younger community. The scientific community even established an association between technological development and the amount of friendship in the school environment. The less interaction the

youngers

Correct your spelling

young people

show examples

maintain, the less social skills they absorb. In conclusion, the advanced digital ways of communication obligate a financial status, which is not the real situation for every person.

Additionally

, even money situation and life stability influence access to online interaction.

Moreover

this

situation per se does seem to contribute to accentuating the gap between human interaction and,

consequently

, generating a lack of social relationships.

Submitted by maria_miguel- on Fri Jan 19 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Although present, your introduction could directly address the question more explicitly by stating whether the trend is positive or negative. Your conclusion does restate your position, which is good practice.

coherence cohesion

Use a variety of cohesive devices throughout your essay to link ideas and paragraphs together smoothly. Attempt to use a mix of simple and complex structures to show range.

task achievement

Expand your main points with more detailed and developed examples. While you have given some examples, they are somewhat general and do not fully illustrate the impact or demonstrate the points in depth.

task achievement

Make sure to answer all parts of the question. In this essay, address both sides of the argument to fully meet the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

social media platforms
online interactions
virtual communication
global community
interpersonal skills
digital divide
cyberspace
virtual presence
social networking
mental wellbeing
digital literacy
safe spaces
marginalized groups
face-to-face communication
socialisation

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Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

some people beleive that it is important to keep the home and the work place tidy and organized. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view.

Raising children is one of the most important missions for many countries. It is recently updated that new mothers and new fathers should take trainings before getting a child. To what extent do you agree ?

In many countries, the law says that youngster must attend school or college until they become 18. What are the advantages or disadvantages?

In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?