IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Plastic Shopping bags contribute to the pollution of land and sea. Some people think they should be banned. Do you agree or disagree and what can be doen to reduce it

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nowadays , the world has been confronting a big environmental problem because of the bad habits that societies are applying in their everyday lives . one of the issues that has been presented is pollution on the earth and ocean.
this
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 is happening because many of the products used are
plastic
Use synonyms
-based. the perfect example is the elastic shopping carrier.
Therefore
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, I agree with the idea of prohibiting using
plastic
Use synonyms
bags
Use synonyms
 for groceries . To help the planet we can decrease
consume it
Wrong verb form
consumption
show examples
. I will explain how could we do it in the following paragraphs . to embark on , there is a common consensus that using
plastic
Use synonyms
bags
Use synonyms
 is prone
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
ecosystem to
Change preposition
ecosystem's
show examples
 hazardous consequences .
in other words
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, if disposable
plastic
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 is dumped into the ocean
this
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 could be entangled with marine life and food leading to serious diseases
such
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 as disgestion issues. another dilemma is that these
bags
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 are considered non-degradable and when buried in the
soil
Use synonyms
 it leads to hazardous problems. Actually, these wastes take ten years in
soil
Use synonyms
 to decompose . So. if it is mixed with fertilized land
this
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 could hinder plants from growing and erose the
soil
Use synonyms
 . ultimately, because of human activities ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are jeopardising land and marine life and
devastate
Wrong verb form
devastating
show examples
 the ecosystem .
subsequently
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, there are plenty of methods that should be adopted to curb
this
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 phenomenon .
firstly
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. those that take place in high authorities should impose strict regulations to diminish the utilisation of these
bags
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 and enforce hefty taxes for people who violate
this
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 rule .
secondly
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 , recycling companies have a vital role in conservation activities .
for example
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 , these companies can stimulate individuals to accumulate their
plastic
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bags
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 for the recycling process and in turn, they will gain discounts on grocery products .
finally
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 , it will be beneficial schemes to redeem them in making other goods.
thus
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 , there a numerous ways to overcome
such
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 a disaster . in conclusion,
while
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 I acknowledge that
plastic
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 waste has detrimenting the ecosystem which engenders disorder in marine life and damages the
soil
Use synonyms
 . I concur that there are harsh penalties against
such
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 waste-discarding behaviours and unleashing a campaign for those deeds.

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coherence cohesion
To improve your logical structure, aim to present your ideas in a more organized manner. Each paragraph should focus on a single main point and transition smoothly to the next.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, ensure that they are more clearly related to each other, restating the topic and summarizing your main points and stance clearly in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Back up your main points with more specific details and examples. Avoid general statements by providing concrete evidence or scenarios that illustrate your arguments.
task achievement
A complete response requires fully developed ideas. Be sure to explain your reasons for agreeing or disagreeing with the ban of plastic bags, and add depth to how this will solve the problem.
task achievement
Clarify and elaborate on your ideas by structuring your essay into clear, distinct paragraphs that each contain one comprehensive idea, starting with a topic sentence and followed by supporting information.
task achievement
Integrate more relevant and specific examples that directly support your argument. Use case studies, research, or hypothetical situations to give weight to your views on reducing the use of plastic bags.
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