Some feel that governments should prioritize healthcare instead of other important areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a growing contention
of
whether the governing bodies should prioritize Change preposition
about
healthcare
or other essential aspects instead
. Personally, I believe that the medical state of each citizen is crucial to a country's being compared to other areas. This
is mainly because fitness is the most essential part of human's
functionality, both in the micro and macro areas of life.
Change noun form
human
Firstly
, every individual must equip
an adequate state of health in order to function in micro parts of living. Doing house chores, taking a bath, driving a car, and many other small habitual acts require people to have full control over their bodies, which can only be achieved by being healthy. Wrong verb form
be equipped with
For example
, a person who has a frequent stomachache in days will be considerably weaker than the fit one. Therefore
, if the government proceed to concentrates
most of the nation's wealth on Wrong verb form
concentrate
healthcare
, that will reduce the possibility of a high figure of sick citizens. For instance
, fostering the quality of medicines and expanding their accessibilities
will contribute to an enhanced quality of residents' physical conditions.
Fix the agreement mistake
accessibility
Secondly
, a country's inhabitants should not possess a notable illness if they want to be functional in
a macro level. Intensifying the quality of national companies and institutions requires Change preposition
on
excelled
human resources. Replace the word
excellent
Hence
, healthcare
should be prioritized since it is the basis of
individuals to unleash their full potential. To realise Change preposition
for
this
, the policymakers can initiate a program to subsidise health services in hospitals,
so that patients do not have to worry much about the costs if they want to check their medical condition. Remove the comma
apply
Consequently
, more residents will receive the treatment they actually need and can further
perform better in their job
. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
This
will contribute to the macro level of a country's amelioration.
To conclude
, the goverment
should focus Correct your spelling
government
their
attention Correct pronoun usage
its
healthcare
than other parts of a nation's issues, considering the fact that citizens' physical state will determine their capability to Change preposition
on healthcare
fuction
adequately in both large and small Correct your spelling
function
area
of life.Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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introduction-conclusion
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position in regard to the prompt, and that your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument, reinforcing your initial stance.
logical-structure
Develop a clear logical structure by creating well-organized paragraphs with clear topic sentences that outline the main idea. Connect these ideas smoothly to maintain a consistent flow throughout the essay.
supported-main-points
Support your main points with more specific, detailed, and relevant examples to give more weight to your argument and demonstrate a wide-ranging knowledge of the topic.
complete-response
clear-comprehensive-ideas
Express your ideas clearly and comprehensively by using a range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures to fully convey your argument.
relevant-specific-examples
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. You can refer to real-life situations, studies, or statistics that illustrate your points effectively.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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