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Band 5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicle will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehickes outweigh the disadvantages.

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #vehicle #passengers #vehickes
Have you ever read about the passengers will be the exclusive users of vehicles?
This
 is the new horizon for cars, buses and trucks "No Driver". It would be advantageous for
companies
 and public transport in terms of
reduce
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reducing
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 labour
cost
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costs
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.
However
, in
general
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general,
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 it is a scary thing if any fault
on
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in
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 the system occurs it will become
into
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apply
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a tragedy.
On
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In
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this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will discuss how disadvantages
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the advantages. As it is mentioned above, labour
cost
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costs
show examples
 for
companies
such
 as Public Transport, the distribution chain for some other
kind
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kinds
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 of Retail
companies
, Supermarkets,
Correct word choice
and Constuction
show examples
Constuction
Correct your spelling
construction
 among other fields where the need of having a float of trucks and their respective drivers will
be diminish
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be diminished
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 or basically will be cero and
transfered
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transferred
 to
other cost
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another cost
other costs
show examples
 like maintenance just to mention an example.
Aditionally
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Additionally
, it will be beneficial for those
companies
 in terms that they do not have to organise a hiring process followed by the training time that has to be
programed
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programmed
show examples
 for the
drivers
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driver's
drivers'
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 team members. The driverless will easier any
routes
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route
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 updates
just
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with just
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by
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apply
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a click
,
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apply
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 and
guaratees
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guarantees
 that any delays
is
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are
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 not related
by
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to
show examples
 a human
mistake
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mistakes
show examples
.
On the other hand
, it is important to keep in mind that mechanical,
electical
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electrical
 or electronic
faulties
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faculties
 will not
dissapear
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disappear
 from one day to another just by
being involve
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being involved
show examples
 with the driverless trend.
In other words
, it would introduce certain issues, which will be reduced to
Correct article usage
a minimun
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minimun
Correct your spelling
minimal
 percentage and controlled by computers. Those vehicles will have some other basic parameters to be followed and tested to guarantee that are safe to be on the roads. But when
the
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apply
show examples
problems
arised
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arise
arose
 it could become
into
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apply
show examples
a tragedy. There is an example
on
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in
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 a movie, where a terrorist
atac
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attack
 corrupted the computer system of the
electrics
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electric
show examples
 cars and all of them start to drive without
follow
Wrong verb form
following
show examples
 the transit rules, crash
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into eachother
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eachother
Correct your spelling
each other
 and put into an emergency situation
their
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with their
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 passengers and people around. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
disadvantages
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the disadvantages
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outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the advantages
on
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at
show examples
this
 stage because there is not any guarantee
on
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in
show examples
 the world that we live
where
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in where
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 the
abitious
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ambitious
 of world power could
will
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apply
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not be
use
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used
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 against
of
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apply
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the
technologics
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technological
 advances of
this
 era. I would
recomend
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recommend
 to those
companies
 that are promoting
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 changes for the future to elaborate
an
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a
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 strategic plan that contemplates as
much
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many
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 scenarios as
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
possible in case
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
issues
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
arise.
Submitted by mantonieta.albarracin on

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task response
Your response addresses the question effectively by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles. However, ensure that your argumentation is balanced and well-supported. For example, the potential benefits such as reduced labor costs need more specific and credible support.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay could benefit from better paragraphing and more transitional phrases to guide the reader. Clearly separate your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use linking words such as 'Firstly,' 'Moreover,' 'On the contrary,' and 'In conclusion' to enhance the flow of ideas.
task response
While you provide relevant examples and arguments, strive to incorporate more specific statistics, studies, or real-life instances to strengthen your arguments. Avoid overly hypothetical scenarios unless you specify their point.
coherence and cohesion
You have provided a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task response
Your points are relevant to the topic and you've addressed both sides of the argument, which is essential for a balanced essay.
general
Good use of vocabulary and varied sentence structures. This demonstrates a good command of the English language.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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