Some people believe that secondary or high school students should be taught how to use money management as it is an important lifeskill.Do you agree or disagree with the statement.

In today's interconnected society, some individuals argue that the government should implement new teaching techniques for school
students
. They believe, that
money
management
prepares
students
for real-world financial responsibilities. It is a crucial life skill,
however
, I wholeheartedly disagree with the phenomenon. There are some fundamental reasons for
this
.
Firstly
,
this
is primarily the parents' role to teach
money
management
, not the school's. There are some circumstances
such
as behaviour in society and saving
money
and not spending
money
on bad habits, which should be taught by family.
Therefore
,
children
will have more responsibility to follow these rules.
Consequently
,
due to
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
education from
family
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
, the
children
will learn how to save
money
and improve
the
Change the word
their
show examples
money
management
skills
. As an example, statistics show that
children
learn more from family than schools. Another key
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
consideration is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
secondary school
students
are not yet at the stage where
money
management
is an immediate concern, and it may be more appropriate to teach at a later stage. Schools should teach
students
more academic fields than personal life
skills
.
Although
these
skills
are very significant for
students
' future lives, they can decrease the motivation of
students
to learn other scientific subjects
such
as biology , chemistry and physics.
For instance
,
researches
Correct your spelling
researchers
show examples
give information that,
students
prefer more practical subjects.
That is
the reason why, these lessons can separate
children
from education. In conclusion,
money
management
skills
are very vital for
students
to reduce future financial complications,
nevertheless
, I completely agree, that
this
should be taught by parents or in
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
education institutions.
Submitted by hebibli.eli on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance logical structure, ensure that each paragraph clearly connects to your main argument with well-chosen transition words.
Coherence & Cohesion
For a stronger introduction and conclusion, restate your thesis more clearly and summarise your main points effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop your main points with more detailed examples and explanations to provide stronger support for your argument.
Task Achievement
Address the prompt fully by discussing both sides of the argument, even if your position is one-sided, to show a balanced view before stating your conclusion.
Task Achievement
Clarify and expand your ideas to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic. Avoid general statements and aim for more depth in your explanations.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more relevant, specific examples to illustrate your points and make your essay more persuasive.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial literacy
  • budgeting
  • investing
  • savings
  • credit and debit
  • expenses
  • financial planning
  • economic independence
  • consumer education
  • debt management
  • interest rates
  • financial institutions
  • taxation
  • retirement planning
  • fiscal responsibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!