IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #work #organisation #life #organisations
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Some individuals opt for working at the same company throughout their career
while
 others say it is better to work for different firms.
While
stuck
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being stuck
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 in one position at the workplace would be a challenge for someone who is changing organisations, I believe remaining at the same company can lead to stability and security.
To begin
 with, there are many professionals who prefer to spend their working life in one organisation.
This
 is because it provides stability and security in terms of the working environment. An employee who has worked for a long time in the firm is
well experienced
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well-experienced
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 and has
agood
Correct your spelling
a good
 understanding of how it functions.
As a result
,
,
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apply
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this
 can lead to the chances of promotion.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 there are some benefits as a
long- term
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long-term
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skilled worker
such
 as a car, house , provision of school fees for children and many more that can sustain the employee.In
this
 case ,it is healthy for the workers to be in a working environment they are familiar with because they do not get stressed or pressured.
On the contrary
, there are people who enjoy working in different corporates but they will remain in the same position because they are new. The other challenge would be difficult to familiarise with the company and
as a result
, an employee will be bored and feel discouraged at work. A professional worker might have no access to incentive to learn and develop new skills. In conclusion, it can be noted that
,
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apply
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 working at the same organisation gives a safe future and reliability. Changing companies may lead to no access to promotion and an unhealthy
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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay has a clear and logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea; transitions can be used to connect the ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing your main points with specific examples, detailed explanations, and a better balance between the two contrasting views.
task achievement
Complete the essay by fully developing all parts of the task, including a more balanced discussion and a clear personal opinion in the conclusion.
task achievement
Strive to present your ideas clearly and comprehensively, avoiding underdeveloped sentences and ensuring that each paragraph conveys a complete thought.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to create cohesion and clearly show the relationship between your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Longevity
  • Corporate ladder
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Professional network
  • Diverse skill set
  • Industry exposure
  • Innovation
  • Resilience
  • Seniority
  • Job market
  • Career trajectory
  • Company culture
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Promotion prospects
  • Cross-functional experience
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