IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that news media nowadays have infulenced people's lives in negative ways to what extent do you agree or disaggree

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News
Use synonyms
media
Use synonyms
 today is regarded has negative effects on
populace's
Correct article usage
the populace's
show examples
 lives by some
people
Use synonyms
. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint because it sums up the cruel incidents that are happening around the world and some of them are fake,
this
Linking Words
 situation is widely harming
people
Use synonyms
's mental health.But I
also
Linking Words
 think it has positive sides,
such
Linking Words
 as improving citizens' mutual support. On the one hand,
news
Use synonyms
 can be spread rapidly through social
media
Use synonyms
 today, so almost everyone can know what happened
although
Linking Words
 they are not related.
This
Linking Words
 situation leads to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 consequence of arousing an individual's
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
show examples
. These incidents may be far away from a person's life, but with
news
Use synonyms
media
Use synonyms
, we are all connected. In
this
Linking Words
 case, our empathy has been activated by reading the
news
Use synonyms
 online
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and feeling uncomfortable about what did not occur to us, in the meantime, we do not have the ability to change the fact,
Linking Words
this
Correct word choice
and this
show examples
 might cause mental issues.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is
numerous
Fix the agreement mistake
a lot of
show examples
news
Use synonyms
 which has not been affirmed propagating on various platforms, some of them are rumours. Since they may believed by the
people
Use synonyms
 who read them, they have equivalent harm to
people
Use synonyms
's mental heath.
However
Linking Words
,
news
Use synonyms
media
Use synonyms
 have positive effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's lives presenting on helping each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
. If a new shows up on the internet, some
people
Use synonyms
 would pay attention to solve it.
For instance
Linking Words
, in 2021, there was a woman on the
media
Use synonyms
 who was considered been imprisoned by a man
illegally
Correct pronoun usage
who illegally
show examples
 kept her as his wife in a Chiese outpost, known as "the woman locked by chain". Through the
news
Use synonyms
 and video noticed by others, many
people
Use synonyms
 went to where she at and helped her. In conclusion, I agree that
news
Use synonyms
media
Use synonyms
 has negative influences on
people
Use synonyms
's lives because it may lead to mental issues, but it
also
Linking Words
 has positive effects
such
Linking Words
 as
people
Use synonyms
 having more chances to help others.

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coherence cohesion
To improve your score, ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. This means your ideas should be arranged in a coherent way that is easy to follow. Using linking words effectively and adhering to a clear paragraph structure can help achieve this.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are present and clear. They should provide a brief overview and summary of your main points, respectively. While your essay does have these elements, they could be more distinct and engaging.
coherence cohesion
To support your main points, use more detailed examples and explanations. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and be fully elaborated upon before moving to the next point.
task achievement
Regarding task achievement, make sure to address all parts of the prompt comprehensively. Your essay should present a balanced view on the topic and fully develop an argument to the extent that you agree or disagree with the statement.
task achievement
Your ideas need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. It's important to develop your points further and ensure that they're easy to understand. Pay attention to clarity and the depth of your explanations.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to illustrate your viewpoints. These examples should clearly support your arguments and be directly linked to the topic discussion.
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