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Band 4

The cost of air travel has fallen in recent years. Do you believe this is a positive or negative development? To what extent do you agree or disagree? Write at least 250 words.

#cost #air #travel #years #development
Nowadays, the reduction of air
travel
 is notable. well, in
this
 case,
although
 there are some positive
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
I mostly agree that, it exerts a great negative outcome on development because it gives access everyone to
travel
 since it is cheap and
on the other hand
, it leads them to make less profit.
To begin
 with, in terms of decreasing the
price
 of tickets, air
plane
Fix the agreement mistake
planes
show examples
 became affordable for
people
 from all
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
.
Therefore
, if anyone else gets a a chance to
travel
 on it, the
possiblility
Correct your spelling
possibility
 of
accident
Add an article
an accident
show examples
 increases.
For example
, if a
theif
Correct your spelling
thief
 has a purpose to steal on
a
Change the article
an
show examples
airbus
Capitalize word
Airbus
show examples
, they can easily do that
due to
 the low
price
 of it. There are various types of
people
, they can create
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
unexpected incidence like robbery
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and can make the environment
unhygenic
Correct your spelling
unhygienic
hygienic
 since not all
people
 are decent.
Secondly
, falling the
cost
 of
an air
Remove the article
air travel
an air journey
an air trip
show examples
travel
 can
built
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
 an unhealthy financial condition. since the
cost
 is less, everyone will buy it
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a very cheap
price
 so the profit will not be the same.
Additionally
, The
price
 range ensures a wealthy income
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a flight company.
For instance
, I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
visited
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
 year, I noticed the ticket
cost
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 dropped.
Then
 immediately I let my friends know about
this
 issue which ignited them to buy it. They ended up purchasing
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
 it was a great
oppurtunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
.
Moreover
, the
airbus
Capitalize word
Airbus
show examples
 company made a less earning.
Furthermore
, it has a positive influence on development despite having its negative sides.
For example
, if someone is very sick or in
emergency
Add an article
an emergency
show examples
, he will
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
 to get on it
due to
 the
cost
 drop.
For example
, my friend's father had been suffering from cancer. so, their family wanted to take him abroad for
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
better treatment but they were hopeless because the flight
price
 was so expensive.
Suddently
Correct your spelling
Suddenly
, the flight ticket became cheaper , they
finally
 could go
as a result
.
To conclude
, if the
airplane
Change the spelling
aeroplane
show examples
 becomes cheaper,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can be contributed to many unwanted
situation
Change to a plural noun
situations
show examples
 since it allows to
travel
 all
people
 and reduces the income rate as well despite it
has
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 some positive
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
.
Finally
, it
exert
Change the verb form
exerts
show examples
 mostly bad consequences in improvement.
Submitted by niloyirtisam on

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introduction
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example detail
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discourse markers
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conclusion
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argument development
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grammar sentence structure
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relevance
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