Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

The advent of modern
technology
has revolutionized the shopping experience, making it more convenient and accessible for consumers.
While
some individuals hold contrasting opinions on
this
matter,
this
essay will explore both perspectives and provide a personal viewpoint.
To begin
with, the proliferation of cutting-edge
technology
has significantly streamlined the shopping process compared to previous decades. Presently, individuals can effortlessly browse and purchase products using online platforms and mobile applications, eliminating the need for time-consuming visits to physical stores or markets.
This
not only offers a broader selection of goods from various brands and manufacturers but
also
facilitates access to items from different parts of the globe.
Consequently
, there is no longer a necessity to visit multiple locations in search of specific merchandise.
Furthermore
,
technology
has introduced innovations like contactless payments, which not only enhance security but
also
contribute to a faster and more efficient checkout experience. Virtual fitting rooms and augmented reality applications have made it possible for consumers to visualize products before making a purchase, reducing the likelihood of dissatisfaction and returns.
On the other hand
, online shopping may present certain challenges. Payment errors on websites or mobile apps often impede consumers from completing transactions,
while
limited credit card options may force individuals to resort to offline purchases.
In addition
, delayed delivery dates can lead to frustration and disappointment among an increasing number of shoppers.
Moreover
, geographical constraints can pose obstacles to online shopping by limiting delivery options based on residential location. In conclusion,
although
modern
technology
has its drawbacks in the realm of shopping, I concur with the notion that it has undeniably simplified the process through handheld devices.
Submitted by farruxbekqirgizov1312 on

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task achievement
You've provided a clear opinion and discussed both views. To improve, extend your conclusion to summarise the key points more thoroughly. This will give your essay a more complete feel.
coherence cohesion
You've organized your essay into paragraphs which is good for the logical structure. However, clearer topic sentences and more cohesive devices (e.g., moreover, therefore) will strengthen the connections between your ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • online marketplaces
  • mobile payment options
  • personalized advertising
  • accessibility
  • compare prices
  • decision fatigue
  • impulse buying
  • financial imprudence
  • privacy and data security
  • transformed
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
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