the diagram illustrates the life cycle process of frogs in a pond.

the diagram illustrates the life cycle process of frogs in a pond.
The diagram illustrates how the
frog
Fix the agreement mistake
frogs
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
grown up
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how they changed and how they birth their generations.
Overall
, it is clearly seen that there are eleven processes to become an adult
frog
and the eggs are cultivated by the adult
frog
. In the beginning, the eggs are alternatives to embryos
then
during the period of
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
they become tadpoles with
tail
Fix the agreement mistake
tails
show examples
and cling to the water plants and eat them to survive. In the next
step
Add a comma
step,
show examples
we can obviously see that the tadpoles appear to have gills for breathing. In the next
process
Add a comma
process,
show examples
the
tail
keeps on growing and thick for easy swimming.
Afterward
Change the spelling
Afterwards
show examples
, starting from
this
is a big change because there are hindlegs appearing and the body
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
is slightly changed to lights.
However
, in
this
transformation
Add a comma
transformation,
show examples
they have other abilities that can store their food in the
tail
. After that the front legs pop up
then
the
tail
becomes shorter and
then
shifts to the young
frog
.
In the
Change preposition
The
show examples
eventually, when the
frog
is mature the transformation
processes
Fix the agreement mistake
process
show examples
will end.
Submitted by haixiuxiaonini on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words frog, tail with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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