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Band 3

Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the child’s education while others argue it is not so. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and opine

#people #sports #effect #child’s #education #opine
There is a lot of credibility
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 having
a competitive
Correct the article-noun agreement
competitive sports
a competitive sport
show examples
sports
 as their own choice of hobby in their own
past
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
time of studying.
While
other's
Change noun form
others
show examples
 might think that competitive
sports
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not the best way to have a good outcome in their own life,
this
 own behaviour does not condone a positive effect itself towards their own beliefs. Competitive
sports
 could be a good way to
put
Verb problem
apply
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
out source
Correct your spelling
outsource
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one's
stresses
Fix the agreement mistake
stress
show examples
. With a good amount of activity to do with their own will, it could become a good thing to do for your own health. It is
also
 an activity that has been recognized by the whole world; Almost every single
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
 and
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
show examples
 has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 own unique extracurricular competitive
sports
 that
benefits
Change the verb form
benefit
show examples
 the
child
. Like chess, football, basketball, and many more. But not to forget, having an excessive competitive
sports
 activity would
also
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a negative
impacts
Correct the article-noun agreement
impact
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
ones
Change to a genitive case
one's
show examples
child
. Competitive
sports
endorse
Verb problem
encourage
show examples
 you to become more dedicated to
do on
Verb problem
apply
show examples
doing something that you need to do. But if one
child
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 it too
execively
Correct your spelling
executively
excessively
, it does not benefit nor
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
 any
mertis
Correct your spelling
merits
merit
 towards the
child
. It will only put more
stresses
Fix the agreement mistake
stress
show examples
into
Change preposition
on
show examples
child's
Correct article usage
the child's
show examples
 mind. In conclusion, I would like to say that it is healthy to have
a competitive
Correct the article-noun agreement
competitive sports
a competitive sport
show examples
sports
 as their
childs
Change to a genitive case
child's
show examples
 education. But
also
 it is not
reccomended
Correct your spelling
recommended
 to do competitive
sports
exessively
Correct your spelling
excessively
. It has to be regulated and controlled with their own guidance.
Submitted by aizawatakeru2 on

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines both the advantages and disadvantages of competitive sports in relation to a child's education. Avoid ambiguous statements and make sure to address the prompt directly.
coherence cohesion
Organize the essay into clear paragraphs, each one discussing a separate main point. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to summarize the main idea.
task achievement
Support each main point with relevant examples or evidence. Vague statements should be replaced with specific details to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and across paragraphs, ensuring clarity and logical flow.
task achievement
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure. Aim for a more formal and academic tone throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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