Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the child’s education while others argue it is not so. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and opine

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There is a lot of credibility
of
Change preposition
in

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having
a competitive
Correct the article-noun agreement
competitive sports
a competitive sport

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun sports in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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sports
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as their own choice of hobby in their own
past
Correct word choice
apply

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time of studying.
While
Linking Words

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other's
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others

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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might think that competitive
sports
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is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject competitive sports. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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not the best way to have a good outcome in their own life,
this
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own behaviour does not condone a positive effect itself towards their own beliefs. Competitive
sports
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could be a good way to
put
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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an
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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out source
Correct your spelling
outsource

The word out source seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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one's
stresses
Fix the agreement mistake
stress

It seems that stresses may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. With a good amount of activity to do with their own will, it could become a good thing to do for your own health. It is
also
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an activity that has been recognized by the whole world; Almost every single
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school

It seems that schools may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university

It seems that universities may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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own unique extracurricular competitive
sports
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that
benefits
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benefit

The verb benefits does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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the
child
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. Like chess, football, basketball, and many more. But not to forget, having an excessive competitive
sports
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

activity would
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

give
Verb problem
have

There may be a verb use issue here.

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a negative
impacts
Correct the article-noun agreement
impact

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun impacts in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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to
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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ones
Change to a genitive case
one's

It appears that the word ones should use the genitive case. Consider changing the noun.

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child
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Competitive
sports
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endorse
Verb problem
encourage

There may be a verb use issue here.

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you to become more dedicated to
do on
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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doing something that you need to do. But if one
child
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

do
Change the verb form
does

The plural verb do does not appear to agree with the singular subject one child. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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it too
execively
Correct your spelling
executively
excessively

If you don’t want execively to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, it does not benefit nor
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give

It seems that the verb gives does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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any
mertis
Correct your spelling
merits
merit

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towards the
child
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. It will only put more
stresses
Fix the agreement mistake
stress

It seems that stresses may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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into
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

child's
Correct article usage
the child's

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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mind. In conclusion, I would like to say that it is healthy to have
a competitive
Correct the article-noun agreement
competitive sports
a competitive sport

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun sports in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as their
childs
Change to a genitive case
child's

It appears that the word childs should use the genitive case. Consider changing the noun.

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education. But
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it is not
reccomended
Correct your spelling
recommended

If you don’t want reccomended to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to do competitive
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

exessively
Correct your spelling
excessively

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. It has to be regulated and controlled with their own guidance.

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines both the advantages and disadvantages of competitive sports in relation to a child's education. Avoid ambiguous statements and make sure to address the prompt directly.
coherence cohesion
Organize the essay into clear paragraphs, each one discussing a separate main point. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to summarize the main idea.
task achievement
Support each main point with relevant examples or evidence. Vague statements should be replaced with specific details to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and across paragraphs, ensuring clarity and logical flow.
task achievement
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure. Aim for a more formal and academic tone throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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