Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is believed that
art
classes
, compared to other subjects, are equally pivotal to a child’s growth. This
writer contends that arts should be in high schools’ curriculum, since it enhances the child’s creativity
, while
there are opposing views due to
art
classes
being irrelevant to academic study.
It must be acknowledged that classes
including drawing and painting nurture children’s creativity
. This
is because, when young students are asked to produce an artwork, this
involves the student’s imagination in order to create one in the way that is
feasible to them. Simultaneously, the activity also
boosts the child’s creativity
. For example
, when a child is required to create a drawing of the sky, he or she will have to think creatively to draw.
However
, there is a common opinion held by individuals that art
classes
do not support children’s academic career
. Fix the agreement mistake
careers
This
is due to
prior experiences of people that most artistic masterpieces only contain imagination, unbounded by any logical rules, such
as The Scream of Edward Munch. This
point is credible, but this
is not always true in most circumstances. To explain this
, there are still drawings that obey the logical rules, such
as landscapes. Another example for
Change preposition
of
this
is when students draw the human body, they will understand the ratio of the body, which can prove useful in human anatomy, an academic subject.
In conclusion, the writer approves of the idea of art
being compulsory in the curriculum of high schools, as it boosts creativity
in children and academic
knowledge of high school students.Correct article usage
the academic
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task achievement
The essay should include more specific examples to support the main points. While general ideas are presented well, specific instances or studies would strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is fully explained and developed. Some points could benefit from further elaboration to enhance clarity and depth.
coherence cohesion
While the logical structure is generally clear, some transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Linking each point more explicitly would improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repeating words like 'creativity' excessively. Using synonyms or rephrasing can make the text more engaging and less repetitive.
critical thinking
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both the benefits of art classes and potential opposing views, which demonstrates critical thinking and depth of analysis.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are effectively written, clearly stating the writer's position and summarizing the main points.
task achievement
The main points are generally supported with appropriate explanations, making the essay's argument more persuasive.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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