IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The maps below show a science park in 2008 and the same park today. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant." Write at least 150 words.

The maps below show a science park in 2008 and the same park today. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant." Write at least 150 words.
#maps #show #science #park #information #features #comparisons
The maps give information about the development that has taken place in Science
Park
 from 2018 to the present day.
Overall
, the
park
 has been more developed with the changes in open lands, some buildings, and the introduction of some public facilities. To commence with, in the north, there was grassland, but it has disappeared and
research
Correct article usage
a research
show examples
 and development building has been erected
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
 site with a connected path to the offices. Meanwhile, the reception
also
 has disappeared. Another noticeable change is that
cycling
Correct article usage
the cycling
show examples
 path has been
build
Change the verb form
building
built
show examples
 alongside the road, making it more
cycling friendly
Add a hyphen
cycling-friendly
show examples
. The parking area, in the middle of the
park
, has become smaller than in 2008. In the south, the IT
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 has been converted into
innovative
Correct article usage
an innovative
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
,
while
 the cyber security has been enlarged to the grassland beside the car
park
, thereby the grassland has disappeared. To connect these three areas, paths have been
also
 developed. The
last
 striking developments are the introduction of
railway
Correct article usage
a railway
show examples
 station in the south
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and a bus stop in the east.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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