It is important for people to risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Bungee jumping off a cliff? Swapping jobs every two years? These are
risks
which I believe are necessary in one's life
. Besides
having a little fun, risks
are an important part of life
that can wire someone's brain to make groudbreaking
decisions which is why I firmly believe that the advantages of taking Correct your spelling
groundbreaking
risks
outweigh the disadvantages, my stance on this
matter is grounded as I have some concrete examples within my life
to prove that risk taking
is an important aspect in people's Add a hyphen
risk-taking
life
.
So why bother with risk taking
? Add a hyphen
risk-taking
Well
let's think Add the punctuation
Well,
this
through,
if we don't take Remove the comma
apply
risks
what can we expect to happen in our everday
menial lives, working a 9 to 5 Correct your spelling
everyday
everyday
with no changesReplace the word
every day
.
Change the punctuation
?
Risk taking
allows us to discover opportunities that we once thought were impossible in our lives. It allows us to meet new people, new jobs and new Add a hyphen
Risk-taking
life
experiences and that last
point is what I think is so important about taking risks
, attaining
Correct word choice
and attaining
life
experiences. What are you going to do when you are 80 and telling your grandkids about how grandpa did nothing meaningful in his life
.
It's about the stories you can tell for future Change the punctuation
?
generation
to inspire them. Fix the agreement mistake
generations
However
, I understand that most of you are skeptical
, what happens when the Change the spelling
sceptical
risk
fails? To this
I say, let it happen, if you decided
to take on a Wrong verb form
decide
risk
and it doesn't work out in your favour, just be prepared for the consequences.
As of right now
I am demonstrating Add a comma
now,
risk taking
as I have Add a hyphen
risk-taking
commited
to taking the Correct your spelling
committed
english
Change the capitalization
English
A level
examinations which was the Add a hyphen
A-level
risk
I decided to take in my life
. For me, doing the A level
examination will be challenging and unnecessarily difficult as it was entirely optional but Add a hyphen
A-level
me
taking that Correct pronoun usage
apply
risk
has allowed me to access so many different university options within the UK. If I had not taken this
risk
and gone to a local university, my career and whole future might be affected which is why this
risk
that I took is warranted. Now if this
all goes horribly wrong, I might feel a bit different about taking risks
but for now
I still stand firm on my stance.
To summarize, Add a comma
now,
risk taking
is something that I believe should be inherently in someone's Add a hyphen
risk-taking
life
as I believe that it develops someone into a more critically minded person who is able to weigh the outcome of their decisions. Not only that but they also
obtain stories for life
which they can tell for generations to come.Submitted by lydiaia on
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Task Achievement
While your essay presents a clear position that the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages, the overall development of ideas could be improved. In terms of task achievement, ensure that your essay addresses both sides of the argument to fully meet the requirements of the task. Right now, you've primarily focused on the positive aspects of risk-taking with only a brief mention of the potential negatives. Including a balanced consideration of the disadvantages of risk-taking would make your argument more nuanced and complete.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance the logical structure, ensure that your paragraphs follow a clear and organized sequence. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence, and the subsequent sentences should expand upon that idea with relevant details and examples. Furthermore, make sure you connect your ideas with appropriate transitional phrases to improve the flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
Your personal story about taking risks with A level examinations is a good start, but including additional specific examples and evidence related to risk-taking in professional and personal lives would strengthen your argument. Examples and details need to be relevant and clearly connected to your main point about the importance and benefits of taking risks.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.