IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that robots are very important for humans' future development. Others, however, think that robots are a dangerous invention that could have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #robots #humans #future #development #invention #effects #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I would contend that both views are valued to some extent,
however
 the invented
robots
 may do more good than harm. Without a shadow of a doubt,
robots
 play a paramount significant role in people’s lives.
This
 is probably because in terms of
traffic
-related problems, by providing automatic
traffic
 regulation and surveillance cameras,
traffic
 adjacent to vehicles can communicate with each other in order to prevent collisions. In
this
 day and age, there are abundant routes that have pre-set destinations and
robots
 take the wheel.
Moreover
, driverless
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 might curb
traffic
 congestion and improve road safety by minimizing
traffic
 offenses. To be more specific, in the United States, specifically in San Francisco, there are already automatic cab systems.
Thus
, robotic machines are put
premium
Add an article
a premium
show examples
 on in people’s future evolution.
While
 the importance of
robots
 is widely acknowledged, the negative influences of
robots
 on society
also
 exist. Machine-based processes can replace people in working areas.
This
 is
due to
 the fact that automatic
robots
 conduct the task with higher precision and experience weariness. They
also
 maintain productivity once programmed and substitute the working field.
For example
, production-lined works can turn from manual to automatic. Technological transformation leads to a myriad of workers
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 redundant and
lessen
Wrong verb form
lessening
show examples
 the importance of the human
labors
Change the noun form
labor
show examples
 workforce.
Hence
, the replacement of humans by
robots
 in the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 market is inevitable. In
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
conclusion,
although
robots
bring
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a harmful impact on society,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
the importance of robotic machines proves itself to overshadow
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 disadvantages.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, make sure you address all parts of the prompt and develop your arguments with more specific, detailed examples. Expand on how robots impact society beyond traffic and labor, touching upon other realms such as healthcare, military, or domestic use.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more seamlessly by improving your use of connective words and phrases. Ensure paragraphs are well-structured, with clear topic sentences that introduce the paragraph's main idea and subsequent sentences that build on that idea coherently.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: