IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that people living in the twenty first century have a better standard of living compared to previous centuries. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #twenty #first #century #centuries
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Part of the world thinks that
twenty first
Add a hyphen
twenty-first
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century
Use synonyms
 offers a better life to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 compared to past centuries. I
also
Linking Words
 agree with the above fact because
this
Linking Words
century
Use synonyms
 has the most upgraded technology which made
citizens
Change noun form
citizens'
citizen's
show examples
 lives easier.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
century
Use synonyms
 has
being
Change the verb form
been
show examples
 giving
people
Use synonyms
 the most comfortable life compared to the past. Nowadays, anyone can do many things just sitting at home
by
Change preposition
on
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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.
Likewise
Linking Words
, doing their jobs, shopping and
also
Linking Words
competing
Correct your spelling
completing
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 their education.
Likewise
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 do not have to go to the shopping mall anymore, they can just choose their products sitting at home which
saved
Wrong verb form
saves
show examples
 a lot of time
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, my mother always
online
Correct word choice
apply
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order
Correct subject-verb agreement
orders
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 our
house hold
Correct your spelling
household
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 items to the home. From
that
Add a comma
that,
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 she saves more money to focus on us.
Secondly
Linking Words
, we can consider
this
Linking Words
 time period as the golden era of technology. Currently, scientists give
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
more attention
on
Change preposition
to
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 upgrading artificial
inteligence
Correct your spelling
intelligence
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they have already introduced lots of
Atificial inteligence
Correct your spelling
artificial intelligence
 products to the world.
Such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 chat gpt, robots, and
also
Linking Words
 voice controlling AI systems.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, they are even trying to introduce
self driving
Add a hyphen
self-driving
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 cars which can be more helpful to disabled persons.
For example
Linking Words
, I always use chat
gpt
Correct your spelling
got
get
 to find more knowledge on certain fields, and it
was helping
Wrong verb form
helps
show examples
 me a lot
while
Linking Words
 doing my assignments. In conclusion, past eras offered more knowledge to the present generation without a doubt.
Due to
Linking Words
 that fact, we
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
twenty first
Add a hyphen
twenty-first
show examples
century
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 currently leading a better life with
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 help of the currently
updating
Wrong verb form
updated
show examples
 technology.
Submitted by darshanadnj20 on

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task achievement
The essay presents a clear position throughout the response. However, more diversified examples and specific details could have made your argument stronger. Ensure every main point is supported with clear and relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a logical flow of ideas but could be improved with a clearer connection between them. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to help your essay flow more naturally and to guide the reader clearly from one point to another.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, you could structure your paragraphs more effectively. Each body paragraph should have a clear central idea, supported by explanations, details, and examples. Avoid repeating the same points and offer a wider variety of reasons and evidence.
coherence cohesion
A strong introduction should give a brief insight into the reasons that will be explored in the body paragraphs. Similarly, your conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points and restate your position, without introducing new ideas or examples. Try to refine these sections of your essay for more impact.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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