Some people believe that people living in the twenty first century have a better standard of living compared to previous centuries. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Part of the world thinks that
twenty first
Add a hyphen
twenty-first
century
offers a better life to the
Correct article usage
apply
people
compared to past centuries. I also
agree with the above fact because this
century
has the most upgraded technology which made citizens
lives easier.
Change noun form
citizens'
citizen's
Firstly
, current
Correct article usage
the current
century
has being
giving Change the verb form
been
people
the most comfortable life compared to the past. Nowadays, anyone can do many things just sitting at home by
Change preposition
on
internet
. Correct article usage
the internet
Likewise
, doing their jobs, shopping and also
competing
their education. Correct your spelling
completing
Likewise
, people
do not have to go to the shopping mall anymore, they can just choose their products sitting at home which saved
a lot of time Wrong verb form
saves
of
Change preposition
for
people
. For instance
, my mother always online
Correct word choice
apply
order
our Correct subject-verb agreement
orders
house hold
items to the home. From Correct your spelling
household
that
she saves more money to focus on us.
Add a comma
that,
Secondly
, we can consider this
time period as the golden era of technology. Currently, scientists give their
more attention Correct pronoun usage
apply
on
upgrading artificial Change preposition
to
inteligence
. Correct your spelling
intelligence
Furthermore
, they have already introduced lots of Atificial inteligence
products to the world. Correct your spelling
artificial intelligence
Such
as,
chat gpt, robots, and Remove the comma
apply
also
voice controlling AI systems. On the other hand
, they are even trying to introduce self driving
cars which can be more helpful to disabled persons. Add a hyphen
self-driving
For example
, I always use chat gpt
to find more knowledge on certain fields, and it Correct your spelling
got
get
was helping
me a lot Wrong verb form
helps
while
doing my assignments.
In conclusion, past eras offered more knowledge to the present generation without a doubt. Due to
that fact, we as
Change preposition
in
twenty first
Add a hyphen
twenty-first
century
is
currently leading a better life with Correct subject-verb agreement
are
a
help of the currently Correct article usage
the
updating
technology.Wrong verb form
updated
Submitted by darshanadnj20 on
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task achievement
The essay presents a clear position throughout the response. However, more diversified examples and specific details could have made your argument stronger. Ensure every main point is supported with clear and relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a logical flow of ideas but could be improved with a clearer connection between them. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to help your essay flow more naturally and to guide the reader clearly from one point to another.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, you could structure your paragraphs more effectively. Each body paragraph should have a clear central idea, supported by explanations, details, and examples. Avoid repeating the same points and offer a wider variety of reasons and evidence.
coherence cohesion
A strong introduction should give a brief insight into the reasons that will be explored in the body paragraphs. Similarly, your conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points and restate your position, without introducing new ideas or examples. Try to refine these sections of your essay for more impact.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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