IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Some people think that technologies have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (

#people #technologies #impact #individuals #society
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For some
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Some
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 people might agree with
this
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 statement, but not me. In my opinion, I disagree because I think
technologies
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 have a huge positive impact
about
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on
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 human life.
For example
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, with
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Fix the agreement mistake
technology
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technologies
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technologies,
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 we can communicate with our families or friends from far away. It can
makes
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make
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 human life easier too because with
technologies
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 we can make robots, and maybe in the future we can make flying cars too so we don't have to use planes to travel. But we can't deny that
technologies
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 have a negative side too, but the choice is in
our self
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ourselves
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. Should we use technology
for
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to
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distrucks
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distinguish
our self
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ourselves
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 and society or we can use it to make
the
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a
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 better version of
our self
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ourselves
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 and society
.
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?
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Submitted by zefanyagyu on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that you fully address all parts of the prompt, which includes discussing the extent to which you agree or disagree. Expand your ideas further to show a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, use a clear paragraph structure with topic sentences that introduce the main idea, followed by supporting sentences with examples or explanations, and a concluding sentence at the end of each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
For cohesion, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your sentences and ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Work on your introduction and conclusion by clearly stating your position in the introduction and providing a summary of your main points in the conclusion for a stronger impact.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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