IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people say it is a waste of time to plan for future. It is more important to focus on the present. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #waste #time #plan #future #focus
I completely disagree with the statement
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
 planning the
future
 is a waste of time. People who hold the argument
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
 planning the
future
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 an
unecessary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
 effort are often blinded
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the fact that there are many individuals who failed
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 their job and
homeless
Add a missing verb
are homeless
show examples
, simply because they did not illustrate how their
path
Fix the agreement mistake
paths
show examples
 are going to be.
Furthermore
, the
future
 is where we strive by ourselves, where we will form possibly a new family, personality, and life.
In addition
, it is important for individuals to draw and decide which way they will take in the
future
 to assist them reach succession easily. Planning for the
future
 can be conducted in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
several forms, but it all
started
Wrong verb form
starts
show examples
 with
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research. There is a quote that says, "the more you know, the more you don't know"
the
Capitalize word
The
show examples
 interpretation of the saying is that
one
 must widen his/her knowledge to understand what
one
 really wants.
A research
Remove the article
Research
show examples
 may help the planner to collect the options just for
one
 to pick later. After picking what the planner wants to pursue in the
future
, it is time for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
brainstorming. Brainstorming is when the individual
breakdown
Correct your spelling
breaks down
show examples
 what efforts
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
he/she can
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
 to add the possibility for
he
Correct pronoun usage
him
show examples
/
she
Correct pronoun usage
her
show examples
 to reach the dream.
However
,
one
 must
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
show examples
 of the challenges that will hinder the process,
hence
, it is recommended for the planner to
mapping
Wrong verb form
map
show examples
 out what he/she will do if the challenges are blocking the way to pursue the goal.
Nonetheless
,
although
 drawing
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 plan for the
future
 is needed,
one
 must focus on the present too. Do not just
dreaming
Change the verb form
dream
show examples
 and
mapping
Wrong verb form
map
show examples
 the aims, put actions on them. In conclusion, planning the
future
 is crucial for individuals, but do not forget to live
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 moment and put
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 our
dream
Fix the agreement mistake
dreams
show examples
.
Submitted by asmaningrum2125 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that you address all parts of the prompt fully. This involves exploring both sides of the argument, especially if you 'disagree' with the statement, which requires you to articulate why others may think differently and then refute their points.
task achievement
Make sure your main ideas are clear and well-developed. Expand on the ideas with more detailed examples and explanations to show a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Whenever possible, use specific examples to support your arguments. This could involve citing research, statistics, or real-world cases to make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay in a logical manner, with each paragraph flowing naturally to the next. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and ensure the reader can follow your argument without effort.
coherence cohesion
Every essay should have a clear introduction that sets the tone and a conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates the writer's position. Make sure these are distinct and conclude the essay effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: