Some parents buy their children a lot of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for children who have a lot of toys?

#parents #children #toys

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays many

parents

give their

children

excessive

toys

, in

this

essay I will describe the advantages and disadvantages for

children

who have many

toys

. Surely all

parents

love their

children

with

Correct word choice

and with

show examples

this

love they are willing to give their

children

many

toys

, whether it is to please their

children

or help their

children

Verb problem

apply

show examples

learn. I think

this

is very okay to do by

parents

out there but it must be with supervision. I think the advantage of giving

children

a lot of

toys

is that

children

can explore the various shapes and textures of their

toys

Like there

Change preposition

There

show examples

are

toys

that have a soft texture when held and some are hard.

This

allows

children

to recognize and learn various textures. There are

also

toys

that are round, triangular, or square.

This

can make

children

learn about various shapes. And there are

also

lego

Capitalize word

Lego

show examples

toys

, which make

children

have to think critically in order to put together various pieces of

lego

Capitalize word

Lego

show examples

to form a building. From the many advantages that are given when

children

have many

toys

, there are

also

many disadvantages that can be obtained if

children

have many

toys

For example

, when

children

are comfortable with their

toys

, they no longer want to go outside to play with their friends.

This

can make

children

become unsociable and anti-social. Where

this

will be very detrimental to the child as an adult.

Therefore

, it is better to give

children

toys

that are not too excessive and

according to

their portion is the best choice that

parents

can choose

Submitted by zefanyagyu on Sat Jan 20 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

To enhance task achievement, ensure that you address both parts of the task fully. Here, you could expand more specifically on the disadvantages to provide a more balanced response.

Coherence & Cohesion

Provide more distinct and clear topic sentences for each body paragraph to improve the logical structure.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly and enhance the flow of the essay.

Task Achievement

Incorporate specific examples to support your main points, which helps to make your arguments more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

258 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?
There are a variety of reasons why scientists experiment with animals ranging from cosmetic to behavioural and pharmaceutical. I believe that some of these are easier to justify than others but there are also alternatives to animal testing that need to be developed further.
6.5
band
Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, the trend of engaging the young generation to do some volunteering jobs in the neighbourhood is increasing. Some claim that such work would have a positive influence on both teenagers and the neighbourhood. From my perspective, I totally agree with this statement, and this essay will demonstrate the supported ideas.
7.5
band
Many museums charge for admissions while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum overweight the disadvantages?
It is widely known that many museums around the world allow visitors to enter for free while others charge for an entrance fee. I personally believe that charging admission fees in the museum will bring more good than harm. This essay will present my arguments to support the statement.
7.5
band
You have read a magasine article that mentionned a place you are familiar with There was a mistake in the article. Write a letter to the editor of the magasine and say what error was explain that you are familiar with the place wgy it is omportant to correct the error
Hope you are doing fine, I am writing this letter to you regarding the magazine you published. It was released last month and it is about the place you featured.
6.5
band
In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What do you think are the causes of this development and what measures could be taken to solve it?
Many people worldwide think that traditional celebrations no longer have the same crucial impact on their lives due to urbanization, leading people to leave their cultural heritage behind. This essay will discuss both reasons for the rapid advancement of this phenomenon, and what procedures can be made to help avoid this problem.

Some parents buy their children a lot of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for children who have a lot of toys?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many museums charge for admissions while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum overweight the disadvantages?

You have read a magasine article that mentionned a place you are familiar with There was a mistake in the article. Write a letter to the editor of the magasine and say what error was explain that you are familiar with the place wgy it is omportant to correct the error

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What do you think are the causes of this development and what measures could be taken to solve it?