IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Chorleywood is a village near London whose population has increased steadily since the middle of the nineteenth century. The map below shows the development of the village. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the development of the village.

Chorleywood is a village near London whose population has increased steadily since the middle of the nineteenth century. The map below shows the development of the village. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the development of the village.
#chorleywood #village #london #population #middle #century #development #report #university #lecturer
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The map shows the development of Chorleywood village from 1868 to 1994. The development stages
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 grouped into 4 stages:
stage
 1 (1868-1883),
stage
 2 (1883-1922),
stage
 3 (1922-1970, and
stage
 4 (1970-1994).
Overall
, as the inhabitants had become significantly higher in number, the residential grew denser.
Initially
, Chorleywood
onnly
Correct your spelling
only
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 two main
road
Change to a plural noun
roads
show examples
 on the
noth
Correct your spelling
north
side
 and the west
side
.
Besides
, there were only a small group of houses on the right
side
 of the western main road. Two decades later, more houses were built next to the previous complex
as well as
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 railway that
passing
Wrong verb form
passed
show examples
 through the new residential. In the third
stage
, more people lived in the area,
occupied
Correct word choice
and occupied
show examples
 land around the second residential.
Furthermore
,
at the end
 of
this
 period, the mobility
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 improved by constructed motorway on the east
side
 of the village.
As a consequence
,
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1970
-
Change preposition
to
show examples
1994, more people moved to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Chorleywood, building their
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
 all around the city, following the road path.
Submitted by munthulbawuk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words stage, side with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • village
  • population
  • increased steadily
  • middle of the nineteenth century
  • development
  • location
  • factors
  • contributing
  • physical
  • infrastructural
  • effects
  • conclusion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: