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Writing Samples
Band 6

Chorleywood is a village near London whose population has increased steadily since the middle of the nineteenth century. The map below shows the development of the village. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the development of the village.

Chorleywood is a village near London whose population has increased steadily since the middle of the nineteenth century. The map below shows the development of the village. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the development of the village.
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The map shows the development of Chorleywood village from 1868 to 1994. The development stages
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 grouped into 4 stages:
stage
Use synonyms
 1 (1868-1883),
stage
Use synonyms
 2 (1883-1922),
stage
Use synonyms
 3 (1922-1970, and
stage
Use synonyms
 4 (1970-1994).
Overall
Linking Words
, as the inhabitants had become significantly higher in number, the residential grew denser.
Initially
Linking Words
, Chorleywood
onnly
Correct your spelling
only
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 two main
road
Change to a plural noun
roads
show examples
 on the
noth
Correct your spelling
north
side
Use synonyms
 and the west
side
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, there were only a small group of houses on the right
side
Use synonyms
 of the western main road. Two decades later, more houses were built next to the previous complex
as well as
Linking Words
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 railway that
passing
Wrong verb form
passed
show examples
 through the new residential. In the third
stage
Use synonyms
, more people lived in the area,
occupied
Correct word choice
and occupied
show examples
 land around the second residential.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
at the end
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
 period, the mobility
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 improved by constructed motorway on the east
side
Use synonyms
 of the village.
As a consequence
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1970
-
Change preposition
to
show examples
1994, more people moved to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Chorleywood, building their
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
 all around the city, following the road path.
Submitted by munthulbawuk on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words stage, side with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • village
  • population
  • increased steadily
  • middle of the nineteenth century
  • development
  • location
  • factors
  • contributing
  • physical
  • infrastructural
  • effects
  • conclusion
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