The maps below shows the town of Lynnfield in 1936 and then later in 2007.

The maps provide data about the town called Lynnfield in 1936 and in 2007.

Overall

, Lynnfield became much more modern and developed, with more entertainment facilities and accommodation. As can clearly be seen, in 1936 there were 3 trees,

however

, in 2007, 2 of them were cut down. In 1936 there was only a river,

whereas

in 2007 there was a residential area.

Instead

of the cycle path in

2007

Add a comma

2007,

show examples

there was a road. The government office was turned into

museum

Add an article

a museum

show examples

whereas

farm land

Correct your spelling

farmland

show examples

was turned into

golf

Add an article

a golf

the golf

show examples

course. Both in 1936 and 2007

bank

Fix the agreement mistake

banks

show examples

library

Fix the agreement mistake

libraries

show examples

and post

office

Fix the agreement mistake

offices

show examples

remained the same,

while

sweet

shop

Fix the agreement mistake

shops

show examples

, butchers and flower

shop

Fix the agreement mistake

shops

show examples

saw some changes. Sweet

shop

Fix the agreement mistake

shops

show examples

and butchers were united and turned into a supermarket.

Flower

Add an article

The flower

show examples

shop

was turned into

travel

Add an article

a travel

show examples

agent. In 1936, there was nothing between the post office, sweet

shop

, butchers, flower

shop

, bank, and library.

However

, by 2007, a shopping

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

had been established in that location.

Submitted by tmargaryan2006 on Sat Jan 20 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, whereas".

▼

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words shop with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

159 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The maps below shows the town of Lynnfield in 1936 and then later in 2007.

Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some believe that living in an apartment are advantageous, but other argue it in contrast. Discuss both views.

Some people think that children should receive formal training at school on how to be good parents in the future. Do you agree or disagree with this statement??

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.