All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

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In recent times, most people

are

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

dealing with obesity worldwide. The statistics illustrate that the number of people who are affected by

this

Linking Words

has increased significantly and these individuals can be at any age.

This

Linking Words

essay will look at

causes

Correct article usage

the causes

show examples

this

Linking Words

and propose some solutions. One of the main causes of the problem is that many people nowadays eat junk food and prepared food. Despite these kinds of food

are

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

delicious, they contain a lot of sugar, salt and oil which can cause

another diseases

Replace the adjective

another disease

other diseases

show examples

human

Add an article

the human

show examples

body. Fast foods

such

Linking Words

as fried chicken or pizza and chips are clear-cut examples of them. The solution is for the government to raise taxes

Change preposition

show examples

them which could be an effective way to decrease overweigh problems. Another problem is that working out has become less common than before. Yet, the prices are super expensive, and

moreover

Linking Words

, it is the most difficult task. The way forward can be to do work out on a daily basis which makes your body fit and

also

Linking Words

more energetic, despite the prices. Sports

such

Linking Words

body building

Correct your spelling

bodybuilding

show examples

and swimming are popular and they are recommended by doctors these days. A third reason which leads to

overweigh

Correct your spelling

overweight

show examples

is related to genetics.

These kind

Change the determiner

This kind

These kinds

show examples

of humans face

this

Linking Words

disease

Change preposition

show examples

an early

ages

Correct the article-noun agreement

age

show examples

which they have inherited from their family. In the US,

for instance

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, about 30 per cent of the society

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

coping with

this

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

the news. To tackle

this

Linking Words

issue, they have to refer to the doctors in order to recommend some pills or surgery. In conclusion, obesity has become more epidemic these days and the reasons can be

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

diet,

exercises

Fix the agreement mistake

exercise

show examples

genetic

Change the adjective

genetically

show examples

related,

however

Linking Words

, there are some effective ways to prevent

this

Linking Words

. In my viewpoint, governments should take

an actions

Correct the article-noun agreement

actions

an action

show examples

such

Linking Words

as advertising healthy diets and gyms which may encourage them and

also

Linking Words

raise awareness.

Ah.mahdavi1365Sat Jan 20 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to have a clear main idea for each body paragraph and directly relate both the causes and solutions to obesity, with specific examples.

coherence and cohesion

Improve logical structure by ensuring paragraphs flow seamlessly from one to the next with clear topic sentences and appropriate use of cohesive devices.

task achievement

In your conclusion, summarize your points more effectively to demonstrate the progression of your argument.

task achievement

Consider adding more specific examples and data to support your claims, which will enrich your argument and make it more persuasive.

coherence and cohesion

Work on paragraphing to enhance readability. Each paragraph should deal with one main idea, and there should be clear distinctions between them.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

313 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Obesity
Overweight
Epidemic
Sedentary
Processed food
Fast food
Nutritional education
Awareness
Stress
Emotional eating
Genetic factors
Access
Healthy food options
Marketing
Urbanization
Lifestyles

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All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

Your opinion

Nowadays a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people argue that historic buildings should be preserved in their original form. Others argue that this is both inadvisable and impossible. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and discuss at least one problem that may result.

Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?