IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Social Interaction is getting destroyed due to technology such as mobile phones. Do you agree or disagree?

#interaction #technology #phones
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Verbal
communication
 between
people
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 destroyed
due to
technology
. I agree with
this
 statement because
development
Add an article
the development
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 of social media platforms and
non verbal
Correct your spelling
nonverbal
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communication
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
 social interaction. In
a
Correct article usage
the
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 modern world,
people
 are changing towards
non verbal
Correct your spelling
nonverbal
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communication
 which kills the social connection between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
.
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
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people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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communicate through texts , calls ,and messages rather than
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
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conversation
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conversations
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 which
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
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 the emotional bonding between
people
.
For instance
, studies conducted in the United States
reveals
Correct subject-verb agreement
reveal
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 that
people
 are spending more than six hours on mobile devices in a day which in
return
Replace the word
turn
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affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
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 the social life of the
people
.
Furthermore
,
technology
pave
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paves
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way
Correct article usage
the way
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 for the development of social media platforms where
people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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interact with others by sharing photos and videos in a virtual manner. Because of
this
relationship
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relationships
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 between
the
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apply
show examples
people
 are
affecting
Wrong verb form
affected
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 in a serious way.
For example
, recently in the United States a study was conducted between two groups of
people
 where one group
were communicate
Change the verb form
communicated
show examples
 through mobile phones and
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 group
were communicate
Wrong verb form
communicated
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 verbally, the result
reveals
Wrong verb form
revealed
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 that
people
 who use verbal interaction
make
Verb problem
have
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 better
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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 with
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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compared with mobile
communication
. In conclusion, in the modern world
technology
 reduces the social connection between individuals. I agree with
this
 because
technology
 platforms like social media completely
kills
Change the verb form
kill
show examples
 the verbal interaction between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Coherence and Cohesion
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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