IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Social interaction between people are destroyed by technology. Do you agree or disagree.

#interaction #people #technology
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Verbal
communication
 between
people
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 destroyed
due to
technology
. I agree with
this
 statement because
development
Add an article
the development
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 of social media platforms
such
 as Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook and
non verbal
Correct your spelling
nonverbal
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communication
 reduce social interaction. In
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 modern world,
people
 are changing towards
non verbal
Correct your spelling
nonverbal
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communication
 which kills the social connection between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
.
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
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people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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communicate through texts , calls ,and messages rather than
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
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conversation
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conversations
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 which not only
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
 the emotional bonding between
people
 but
also
create
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creates
show examples
 conflict in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
relationships.
For instance
, studies conducted in the United States
reveals
Correct subject-verb agreement
reveal
show examples
 that
people
 are spending more than six hours on mobile devices in a day for different purposes
such
 as entertainment and videogames which in
return
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turn
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 affect the social life of the
people
.
Furthermore
,
technology
pave
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paves
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way
Correct article usage
the way
show examples
 for the development of social media platforms where
people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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interact with others by sharing photos and videos in a virtual manner. Because of
this
relationship
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relationships
show examples
 between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 are
affecting
Wrong verb form
affected
show examples
 in a serious way.
For example
, recently in the United States a study was conducted between two groups of
people
 where one group
were communicate
Change the verb form
communicated
show examples
 through mobile phones and
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 group
were communicate
Wrong verb form
communicated
show examples
 verbally, the result
reveals
Wrong verb form
revealed
show examples
 that
people
 who use verbal interaction
make
Verb problem
have
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 better
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 with
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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compared with mobile
communication
. In conclusion, in the modern world
technology
 reduces the social connection between individuals. I agree with
this
 because
technology
 platforms like social media completely
kills
Change the verb form
kill
show examples
 the verbal interaction between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 and create conflict
inbetween
Correct your spelling
between
in between
 the relationship.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure that you address the topic fully and present a balanced argument with a wider range of examples and supporting evidence. Make sure your ideas are comprehensive and fully developed throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, concentrate on organizing your essay into clear paragraphs with topic sentences. Use a range of linking words effectively to connect ideas, and ensure a logical flow of arguments is maintained throughout the essay. Consider adding a summary sentence at the end of each paragraph to reinforce your main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Digital communication
  • Social dynamics
  • Cyberbullying
  • Synchronous and asynchronous communication
  • Virtual reality
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Digital native
  • Screen time
  • Emotional detachment
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