IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Social interaction between people are destroyed by technology. Do you agree or disagree.

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Verbal
communication
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 between
people
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are
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is
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 destroyed
due to
Linking Words
technology
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. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because
development
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the development
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 of social media platforms
such
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 as Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook and
non verbal
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nonverbal
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communication
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 reduce social interaction. In
a
Correct article usage
the
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 modern world,
people
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 are changing towards
non verbal
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nonverbal
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communication
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 which kills the social connection between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
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.
Now a days
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Nowadays
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people
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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communicate through texts , calls ,and messages rather than
face to face
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face-to-face
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conversation
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conversations
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 which not only
reduce
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reduces
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 the emotional bonding between
people
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 but
also
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create
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creates
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 conflict in
a
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apply
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relationships.
For instance
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, studies conducted in the United States
reveals
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reveal
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 that
people
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 are spending more than six hours on mobile devices in a day for different purposes
such
Linking Words
 as entertainment and videogames which in
return
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turn
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 affect the social life of the
people
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.
Furthermore
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,
technology
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pave
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paves
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way
Correct article usage
the way
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 for the development of social media platforms where
people
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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interact with others by sharing photos and videos in a virtual manner. Because of
this
Linking Words
relationship
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relationships
show examples
 between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
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 are
affecting
Wrong verb form
affected
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 in a serious way.
For example
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, recently in the United States a study was conducted between two groups of
people
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 where one group
were communicate
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communicated
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 through mobile phones and
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 group
were communicate
Wrong verb form
communicated
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 verbally, the result
reveals
Wrong verb form
revealed
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 that
people
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 who use verbal interaction
make
Verb problem
have
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 better
relationship
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relationships
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 with
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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compared with mobile
communication
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. In conclusion, in the modern world
technology
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 reduces the social connection between individuals. I agree with
this
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 because
technology
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 platforms like social media completely
kills
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kill
show examples
 the verbal interaction between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 and create conflict
inbetween
Correct your spelling
between
in between
 the relationship.

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure that you address the topic fully and present a balanced argument with a wider range of examples and supporting evidence. Make sure your ideas are comprehensive and fully developed throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, concentrate on organizing your essay into clear paragraphs with topic sentences. Use a range of linking words effectively to connect ideas, and ensure a logical flow of arguments is maintained throughout the essay. Consider adding a summary sentence at the end of each paragraph to reinforce your main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Digital communication
  • Social dynamics
  • Cyberbullying
  • Synchronous and asynchronous communication
  • Virtual reality
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Digital native
  • Screen time
  • Emotional detachment
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