IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people say that the bicycles are a good, modern means of transportation. others say riding a bicycle has a clear disadvantage. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

#people #bicycles #transportation #bicycle
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One of the main issues of today's world is
transportation
Use synonyms
. We as busy individuals need a fast and efficient way to transport in order to make
this
Linking Words
 process happen in a way that has a minimum effect on our effort.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it has to be sustainable and environment-friendly to reduce air pollution. I believe that using a
bicycle
Use synonyms
 as a
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
transportation
Use synonyms
 has both its pros and cons. Many
people
Use synonyms
 advocate riding a
bicycle
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
because of
show examples
 its
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
 on
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
 of both
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and the user. In
contract
Correct your spelling
contrast
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 other
transportation
Use synonyms
 tools, bicycles are green tools and they produce zero gases which pollute the air.
Additionally
Linking Words
, cycling is a great sport and it's an opportunity to change the boring process of
transportation
Use synonyms
 into a workout session.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, using a bike reduces the amount of traffic, which is the main cause of
exhaustoin
Correct your spelling
exhaustion
 of
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their trips to or from work. Another benefit which can be mentioned is that as the use
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 bicycles increases, the demand for cars would be reduced and it results in
decline
Add an article
the decline
a decline
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the price of cars. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, using a bike has multiple benefits which cannot be unseen.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 are against using bicycles for journeys. One of the reasons is that in
this
Linking Words
 method, the weather plays a
signifitiant
Correct your spelling
significant
 role in the quality of the trip.
For example
Linking Words
, you may catch a cold if you ride a bike in
a
Remove the article
apply
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cold weather. Other than that, it is proven that cycling for a long period of time has bad effects on knee joints.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it reduces the profit of car manufacturing factories and the salaries of the factory workers may decrease because of that. Another disadvantage is
Use synonyms
bicycle's
Correct article usage
the bicycle's
show examples
 speed which is obviously less than other
transportation
Use synonyms
 means. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, it is not a suitable
approache
Correct your spelling
approach
 for long distances.
Overall
Linking Words
, riding a
bicycle
Use synonyms
 has many advantages, but at the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 it has some disadvantages which causes many
people
Use synonyms
 to not
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
this
Linking Words
 method as their
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
transportation
Use synonyms
. But for pretty average distances, it can be a
greate
Correct your spelling
great
 choice which provides
numerious
Correct your spelling
numerous
 benefits.
In
Correct your spelling
It
show examples
 is recommended that
governemnts
Correct your spelling
governments
 build some cycling ways in the cities to encourage
people
Use synonyms
use
Add the particle
to use
show examples
this
Linking Words
 method.
Submitted by mohamad.sanaye462 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea, and arguments should be logically developed.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task well, but make sure to develop each point with more specific examples and explanations to fully satisfy the requirements of the task achievement criterion.
coherence cohesion
In the conclusion, ensure to summarize the main points briefly and restate your opinion clearly.
task achievement
When discussing different views, balance the amount of discussion and try to support each point of view equally to provide a comprehensive argument.
task achievement
Correct some spelling errors and typos to improve the academic quality of the writing. For instance, 'contract' should be 'contrast', 'exhaustoin' should be 'exhaustion', 'conclution' should be 'conclusion', 'signifitiant' should be 'significant', and 'approache' should be 'approach'.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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