Some people argue that it is the responsibility of the police to educate children about good behavior, whereas others believe that parents should be responsible for children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some claim that
police
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officers should be responsible for
guilding
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guiding
children
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to become good citizens;
however
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, others believe that
this
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duty should be left to
children
Use synonyms
's
parents
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. I believe that the
cooporation
Correct your spelling
cooperation
between these two guides is the key to the issue. On the one hand, because the
police
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have a deep understanding
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
legislation
so
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apply
show examples
some individuals think they should bear the main duty
on
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of
show examples
nurturing
children
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's behaviours. Specifically, because of executing
laws
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,
police
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officers virtually know whether a specific action is right or wrong, and they teach youngsters how to obey the
laws
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, which potentially
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
the behaviours of the young. In fact, some
parents
Use synonyms
do not have a deep grasp
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
laws
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and their shortage of law-related knowledge could make their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
suffer.
For example
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, in Vietnam,
specially
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especially
show examples
in rural areas, most
parents
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do not know that letting their
offsprings
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offspring
show examples
under 15 drive
motobike
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motorbike
volients
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violent
clients
the
laws
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, which potentially
ruin
Correct subject-verb agreement
ruins
show examples
the image of these
children
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in the public
eyes
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eye
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, it is believed that
parents
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should play the primary role in bringing up
children
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.
This
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is because
parents
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often spend more time with their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
compared to the public, which indicates that by knowing their
children
Use synonyms
's personality better,
parents
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can have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
suitable way to adjust the manner of their kids.
For example
Linking Words
, if they notice that their son
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a high arrogance, it would be better to teach them in private places rather than
critize
Correct your spelling
criticise
them in public.
As a result
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,
children
Use synonyms
could easily behave well. In my opinion, because the role of the
police
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and
parents
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in teaching the young is
indispencible
Correct your spelling
indispensable
and irreplaceable, so it would be better if
children
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can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
be guided by both of them.
Submitted by ctl2207 on

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structure
Ensure introduction and conclusion are clearly differentiated and contribute effectively to the overall essay structure.
coherence
Improve the logical structure of your body paragraphs for stronger coherence. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and subsequent supporting sentences.
development
Develop supporting examples further to illustrate your points more comprehensively.
vocabulary
Work on accurately using vocabulary that precisely conveys your meaning, taking care to avoid language that may appear informal or imprecise.
task response
Focus on providing a balanced discussion of both views before stating your own opinion, in order to fully address the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • responsibility
  • educating
  • good behavior
  • role
  • primary
  • collaboration
  • well-rounded
  • education
  • enforcing
  • balancing
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • mentor
  • guidance
  • discipline
  • supportive
  • law enforcement
  • positive influence
  • legal authority
  • parental involvement
  • community-oriented
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