Some people argue that it is the responsibility of the police to educate children about good behavior, whereas others believe that parents should be responsible for children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some claim that
police
officers should be responsible for guilding
Correct your spelling
guiding
children
to become good citizens; however
, others believe that this
duty should be left to children
's parents
. I believe that the cooporation
between these two guides is the key to the issue.
On the one hand, because the Correct your spelling
cooperation
police
have a deep understanding about
legislation Change preposition
of
so
some individuals think they should bear the main duty Correct word choice
apply
on
nurturing Change preposition
of
children
's behaviours. Specifically, because of executing laws
, police
officers virtually know whether a specific action is right or wrong, and they teach youngsters how to obey the laws
, which potentially improve
the behaviours of the young. In fact, some Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
parents
do not have a deep grasp about
Change preposition
of
laws
and their shortage of law-related knowledge could make their offsprings
suffer. Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
For example
, in Vietnam, specially
in rural areas, most Replace the word
especially
parents
do not know that letting their offsprings
under 15 drive Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
motobike
Correct your spelling
motorbike
volients
the Correct your spelling
violent
clients
laws
, which potentially ruin
the image of these Correct subject-verb agreement
ruins
children
in the public eyes
.
Fix the agreement mistake
eye
On the other hand
, it is believed that parents
should play the primary role in bringing up children
. This
is because parents
often spend more time with their offsprings
compared to the public, which indicates that by knowing their Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
children
's personality better, parents
can have the
suitable way to adjust the manner of their kids. Correct article usage
a
For example
, if they notice that their son have
a high arrogance, it would be better to teach them in private places rather than Correct subject-verb agreement
has
critize
them in public. Correct your spelling
criticise
As a result
, children
could easily behave well.
In my opinion, because the role of the police
and parents
in teaching the young is indispencible
and irreplaceable, so it would be better if Correct your spelling
indispensable
children
can
be guided by both of them.Wrong verb form
could
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structure
Ensure introduction and conclusion are clearly differentiated and contribute effectively to the overall essay structure.
coherence
Improve the logical structure of your body paragraphs for stronger coherence. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and subsequent supporting sentences.
development
Develop supporting examples further to illustrate your points more comprehensively.
vocabulary
Work on accurately using vocabulary that precisely conveys your meaning, taking care to avoid language that may appear informal or imprecise.
task response
Focus on providing a balanced discussion of both views before stating your own opinion, in order to fully address the task.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
