Some people say educational school is the only critical factor to the development of a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Education
is consider
to be the key factor of Change the verb form
is considered
sucess
Correct your spelling
success
is
someone's life. In today's era,it is believed that if a person Correct your spelling
in
want
to achieve something great in life Change the verb form
wants
so
he has to complete a certain level of education. A group of individuals believe that educational Correct word choice
apply
campus
are the key element for Fix the agreement mistake
campuses
development
of a Add an article
the development
country
. I partially agree with the above notion. According to
me country's
Correct article usage
the country's
development
also
matter
with the Change the verb form
matters
economy
factor.
At the onset, it is believed that the more educated the people are, the more the Replace the word
economic
country
grow
. Correct subject-verb agreement
grows
By building
more educational Change preposition
Building
campus
, it Fix the agreement mistake
campuses
allow
Change the verb form
allows
chance
for Add an article
a chance
the chance
the
citizen to Correct article usage
apply
get
knowledge and allow their ability to achieve courses like mastery and Verb problem
gain
bachlerors
. Correct your spelling
bachelors
For example
, In past
few Correct article usage
the past
decades
many educational centres have been opened in Africa and because of it, Africa has started to gain a good reputation and acquired its position in the World Add a comma
decades,
education centre
.
Correct your spelling
Education Centre
On the contrary
, i
personally believe that the Government should Change the capitalization
I
also
help country
financially. They should construct more buildings for shelterCorrect article usage
the country
, Hospital
facilities for the required Correct your spelling
and hospital
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
as well as
should also
invest in public transportation. I think that these factors plays
their own significant role in Change the verb form
play
development
of Add an article
the development
country
. To prove it, Add an article
the country
a country
UK
Government is allowing international students to enter Correct article usage
the UK
in
their Change preposition
apply
premise
and gain Fix the agreement mistake
premises
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
further
educational degree
. Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
On the other hand
, the country
is facing housing problem
and Fix the agreement mistake
problems
lack
some medical Correct subject-verb agreement
lacks
equipments
. Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
This
is because they just kept their focus only on one sector and not the other one.
To summarize, educational factilities
can boost Correct your spelling
facilities
up
the Change preposition
apply
development
of a country
, but according to
me
there Add a comma
me,
are
Change the verb form
is
also
other sector
which Change the wording
another sector
other sectors
are
involved in the process of Change the verb form
is
development
. If the federal government is only targeting the educational field for their country
's development
than
they are just trying to create an extra source of income which will directly go Correct your spelling
then
in
their pockets.Change preposition
into
Submitted by hlife4454 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
logical structure
Your essay demonstrates an attempt at organizing ideas and arguments, but the overall structure can be improved. The introduction should clearly state your position and the conclusion should succinctly summarize your thoughts, reaffirming your thesis. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic that is developed and connected to the overall argument.
introduction conclusion present
The presence of an introduction and conclusion is noted, but they need to be more impactful. Introduce your thesis statement clearly in the introduction and avoid introducing new ideas in the conclusion. Make sure they are concise and directly address the question.
supported main points
While you illustrated some main points, they need to be more fully supported with detailed examples and explanations. Develop your arguments further to enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
complete response
The completeness of your response could be improved by fully addressing the prompt. Ensure that you provide a balanced discussion and explicitly state your extent of agreement or disagreement with the statement.
clear comprehensive ideas
You presented some clear ideas, but they must be better elaborated and interconnected for a comprehensive treatment of the topic. Work on expanding on your points with more clarity and precision to provide a more robust argument.
relevant specific examples
To score higher, incorporate more relevant examples that are specific and directly support your argument. Draw on a wider range of examples to substantiate your points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.