IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the government should strictly control the supply of fresh water, as it is a limited resource, while others say that it should not be regulated. Discuss both sides/views and give your opinion.

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because
On the other hand
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, opponents of
this
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 idea might propose that To put
in other words
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, they consider that Personally, I would argue in
favor
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favour
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 of seeing that
For instance
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, In conclusion,
although
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 it is undeniable that I am of the opinion that
for instance
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 in order to they consider that fresh
water
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 is a finite natural resource, and doing so would ensure that it will be available for the increasing global population in the long run. the
government
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 should not be in charge of providing fresh
water
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.
instead
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 of paying
water
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 bills to the
government
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, individuals should opt for purchasing clean
water
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 from private companies. In
this
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and
Correct word choice
apply
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age,
,
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apply
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water
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 purifiers and bottled
water
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 are sold by private enterprises, offering better tastes and quality as they use the most advanced innovations to source clean
water
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. From
this
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 perspective, it is understandable why some would prefer the privatization of clean
water
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 to buying
water
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 from the
government
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. the
government
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 controlling the supply of clean
water
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, people are likely to disregard the environmental consequences of their actions. if people incessantly purchase bottled
water
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 from private companies,
this
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 could cause detrimental effects
to
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apply
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/on the environment,
such
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 as plastic garbage in the ocean.
Consequently
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, assuming that the
government
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 is given full control over the supply of fresh
water
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, they could raise taxes on clean
water
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 to curb its demand. people should have the free will to pay for what they want,
Correct word choice
and
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the distribution of fresh
water
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 should be under the control of the governmental agency
Fix the infinitive
to
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mitigate the pessimistic effects of ecological damage contributed by the privatization of fresh
water
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 supply.

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introduction conclusion present
Please ensure that your essay includes a clear introduction and a conclusion. The introduction sets the stage for your discussion and outlines the main points your essay will cover, while the conclusion should summarily address the discussion points and restate your opinion.
logical structure
To improve coherence, your essay should have a logical flow, with clear connections between sentences and paragraphs. Use cohesive devices like conjunctions, topic sentences, and transition words effectively.
supported main points
Develop your main points with detailed explanations and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. This helps to clarify your ideas and support your opinions.
complete response
Ensure that you fully address the task by discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear opinion. Your essay should answer all parts of the prompt comprehensively.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and expand your ideas to make them comprehensive. Avoid repetitive or unclear statements to ensure that each paragraph contributes to your argument and understanding of the topic.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate specific examples or data to illustrate your points, providing evidence to back up your arguments. This grounds your essay in reality and makes it more persuasive.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • limited resource
  • manage responsibly
  • shortages
  • environmental impact
  • over-extraction
  • wastage
  • quotas
  • pricing structures
  • efficient use
  • bureaucratic red tape
  • market mechanisms
  • competition, innovation, and investment
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