Today, people in many countries can live and work anywhere they choose, because of improved communication technology and transport. Do the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the it’s disadvantages?

In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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the disadvantages of
this
phenomenon are less
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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than the advantages
by
Change preposition
because
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the reason where to live is their rights. People have
Correct article usage
the rights
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rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
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to choose where they live,
moreover
supported by improved communication technology and transport will
give
Verb problem
have
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a better impact
to resolve
Change preposition
on resolving
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problems
to move
Change preposition
of moving
show examples
from one place to another place
Submitted by talubis on

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structure
The essay provided is quite brief and lacks a structured response to the given task. It is essential to develop your ideas with clear introductory and concluding paragraphs. Each body paragraph should have a main idea and supporting details.
development
Expand your essay by delving deeper into the advantages and disadvantages of the phenomenon. Discuss specific examples to illustrate your points and demonstrate comprehensive coverage of the topic.
cohesion
Ensure that your essay is logically organized. Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to help the reader follow your arguments more easily.
task response
Directly address the question by discussing if the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. This involves comparing both and coming to a clear conclusion based on the arguments presented in the body of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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