many pearents in Vietnam invest heavily into their child's education hoping for the best. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantage?
Whether many
children
being
enthusiastically supported to get quality Wrong verb form
are
education
by parents
in Vietnam is a recurring argument. In
Change preposition
From
writer's
perspective, Correct article usage
the writer's
despite
Change preposition
apply
children
can get stress, both helping
them enrich vital horizons and enhance Wrong verb form
help
the
prospective earning Change the word
their
handsome
salary in the Correct article usage
a handsome
future
.
The most advantageous factor of investing education
for Change preposition
in education
children
is they will broaden important knowledge
. That is
to say, when children
are not educated, they are more likely to get up to all sorts of mischief and do not have any horizons from that
activities, so in order to make Correct determiner usage
those
children
be a person who is brilliant, they must be educated in curriculum
strongly where teacher will teach them effectively. Correct article usage
a curriculum
For instance
, in the Le Thanh Tong high school
in Vietnam, all students are invested Correct your spelling
High School
to pass
university with high color by their Change preposition
in passing
parents
and they achieved that goal.
When it comes to education
investing for Vietnamese parents
, earning high
salary is Add an article
a high
known
benefit. To put it simply, broadening lots of Correct article usage
a known
knowledge
will help children
treat more problems in their work in the future
, leading to earning more money because of their influential
in their job. Taking Bill Gates as an example, in the past, he took a lot of Replace the word
influence
knowledge
from his school, then
growing, Correct word choice
and then
although
he refuse
to study at Havard Wrong verb form
refused
university
, he Capitalize word
University
is
one of the Verb problem
became
most wealthy
Correct word choice
wealthiest
person
in the world.
Change to a plural noun
people
On the other hand
, Vietnamese parents
invest a alot
into their Correct your spelling
lot
a lot
child
's education
may give rise to overwhelm for child's
Correct article usage
the child's
metal
. To explain Correct your spelling
mental
further
, if parents
force their child
to learn too much, they can get stress
by the schedule of Wrong verb form
stressed
teaching
Correct article usage
the teaching
progamme
or the score of Correct your spelling
programme
subject
. Correct article usage
the subject
However
, children
can think about benefits in the future
that they will be respected. As a consequence
, being comfortable will come to
Change preposition
into
child's
life.
In conclusion, the advantage of investing heavily Correct article usage
a child's
into
Change preposition
in
education
is not only helping children
broaden many important knowledge
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
stimulate
the Wrong verb form
stimulating
oppotunities
to get high Correct your spelling
opportunities
score
in the Fix the agreement mistake
scores
future
.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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Task Response
To improve task response, ensure that you address all parts of the question directly. Make sure to discuss both advantages and disadvantages in equal measure and provide a clear opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas with more specific examples. Using generalized statements or hypothetical cases does not effectively demonstrate the point. Include real-world examples to support your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Focus on creating clearer and more structured paragraphs. Each paragraph should address a single main idea and be fully developed with explanations and examples before moving on to the next idea.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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