Many people see animals as tools to be used by humans to better their lives. They believe animals should help feed us and keep us healthy by being subjects to experiments that will lead to new medications and medical processes. Others believe that animals should have the same rights to a good life as humans. Discuss both views and state your own.

#people #animals #tools #humans #lives #subjects #experiments #medications #processes #rights #life

Ketika

binatang

digunakan untuk membantu

manusia

dalam mendukung kehidupannya

adalah

suatu fakta

yang

tidak

dapat

ditolak apalagi sampai disebutkan

binatang

adalah

sumber daya alami

yang

dapat

memberikan kehidupan kepada

manusia

akan

tetapi bukan berarti bintang secara dieksploitasi tanpa batas hingga memberikan keburukan kepada mereka, pemikiran ini tentu saja salah dan

tidak

dapat

dibenarkan. pemanfaatan

binatang

sebagai sumber pemenuhan kehidupan

manusia

harus dilakukan secara efesien mungkin tanpa mengeksploitasi mereka secara berlebihan. Di sisi lain

binatang

memiliki

hak untuk

hidup

akan

tetapi tidaklah sama seperti

manusia

Hewan

dan

manusia

adalah

makhluk

hidup

yang

berbeda di

banyak

hal, ketika

hewan

dibiarkan

hidup

sebagaimana layaknya

manusia

maka kekhawatiran

populasi

hewan

lebih

banyak

dari

pada

manusia

akan

terjadi dan hal ini

akan

berdampak

pada

ketidakseimbangan kehidupan. Bayangkan apabila suatu daerah

memiliki

populasi

hewann

lebih

tinggi dari

pada

manusia

yang

pada

akhirnya menyebabkan

manusia

tidak

lagi

memiliki

tempat tinggal. Membiarkan

populasi

hewan

lebih

banyak

dari

pada

manusia

adalah

suatu hal

yang

buruk karena

hewan

tidak

memiliki

fungsi otak seperti

manusia

yang

dapat

dimanfaatkan dengan baik demi kemajuan teknologi. Oleh karena itu membiarkan

hewan

untuk

hidup

dapat

dilakukan dengan membatasi

populasi

mereka berkembang

lebih

banyak

dengan cara menjadikannya sumber penghidupan

manusia

. When

animals

are used to support human

being

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

show examples

for life is a fact that can't be objected

moreover

animals

are natural resources for

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

to live, but they can't be exploited

untill

Correct your spelling

until

bad

Correct article usage

a bad

show examples

impact

caused

Add a missing verb

is caused

show examples

to them.

This

tought

Correct your spelling

thought

taught

tough

can't be accepted, the use of

animals

as natural resources to support human life must be applied efficiently without

exploit

Change the verb form

exploiting

show examples

them.

Change preposition

show examples

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

animals

have

rigts

Correct your spelling

rights

to live but it is not as same as

Add an article

a human

show examples

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

Human

Fix the agreement mistake

Humans

show examples

and

animals

are different living things, because

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

animals

live

likes

Wrong verb form

show examples

human

being

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

show examples

hence

the anxiety of

Correct article usage

the animals

show examples

animals

Fix the agreement mistake

animal

show examples

population

is greater than

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

thereupon

unbalance

Wrong verb form

unbalanced

show examples

situation comes and

give

Verb problem

has

show examples

bad

Correct article usage

a bad

show examples

impact

Change preposition

show examples

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

How

Correct word choice

What

show examples

if one place has

higher

Correct article usage

a higher

show examples

animals

Change the noun form

animal

show examples

population

than

human

Correct article usage

a human

show examples

? letting

animals

Correct article usage

the animals

show examples

population

is higher than

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

bad

Add an article

a bad

show examples

thing because

animals

do not have

brais

Correct your spelling

brains

be function

Change the verb form

function

show examples

as like

Change preposition

apply

show examples

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

which can be used for technology

expanding

Replace the word

expansion

show examples

. Because of that, letting

animals

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

have

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

life by restriction their

population

by making them

Change preposition

apply

show examples

human natural resources

Submitted by talubis on Sun Jan 21 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure you introduce the topic clearly, outlining the discussion points briefly. Then, you must separate your essay into clear paragraphs, with each paragraph discussing a single main point. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to signal the main idea, and conclude with a summarizing or concluding sentence that reflects on the paragraph's content.

task achievement

For full task achievement, you should make sure to discuss both views on the topic, providing a balanced argument for each, along with relevant and specific examples. Furthermore, stating your own opinion on the subject is essential, ideally in the conclusion, after outlining the arguments for both sides throughout the essay.

language

The language and grammar you use must be accurate and varied. Avoid run-on sentences and check that your tenses, sentence structures, and vocabulary are correctly used. Keeping sentences grammatically simple can sometimes help in maintaining clarity and coherence in your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

366 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
In many countries legal driving age is 18 years old. Some people believe it is the right age to learn how to drive a car, whereas others say that the minimum age should be 25. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
A number of countries set the legal driving at 18, and by the law, a fair portion of the crowds opine that it is proper, in parallel, others believe the age of driving should be at least 25. From my aspect, I understand both thoughts but I more likely agree with the first one.
6
band
When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There are different factors people consider when making a career move, and the size of the salary is considered to be the most important one. While I agree that earning enough money is essential in order to lead a comfortable life, I also believe that job satisfaction is of equal importance.
5.5
band
In many countries, the rate of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with this?
In modern world, one of the serious problems related to my country is the increasing level of crime. The key factors of criminal activities and potential solutions to minimize the effects of them will be discussed in this essay.
8
band
University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages?
Various controversies have emerged as to whether studying overseas is necessary for college students. Some people claim that it is a waste of money. From my perspective, however, the merits of overseas studies far outweigh its drawbacks.
7
band
Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
A group of people believe that retailers and industries should be responsible for reducing the waste of packing their products. Another group think that the customers should assume this responsibility, by avoiding buying goods with a lot of containers. Firstly, it is a fact that materials used to pack products that people buy in everyday life, such as paper or plastic, are a critical problem for the environment. These kinds of materials normally are non-biodegradable and the final destination can be rivers, oceans, and forests.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries legal driving age is 18 years old. Some people believe it is the right age to learn how to drive a car, whereas others say that the minimum age should be 25. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In many countries, the rate of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with this?

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.