Tourism has become one of the leading sources of revenue in many countries. Do the advantages of tourism outweigh the disadvantages?
A common trend frequently around the increase in
tourism
makes some countries much more developed than in the past which is handling the unemployment
issue as well as
reduced urbanization
outweighed the snag is the cultural interference.
One of the fundamental benefits of developing tourism
is tackling unemployment
. In other words
, many residents had a limited chance to develop their careers but due to
visitors, people there can sell local goods or foods. For example
, in Vietnam, people being workers are rapidly increasing by roughly 60% in comparison with the past with the developing tourism
. As a result
, tourism
becomes a leading source can
deal with the Correct pronoun usage
that can
unemployment
problem.
Another considerable advantage of increasing tourism
is cutting down urbanization
. To put it simply, most visitors want to tourist the most natural destinations,
and to develop Remove the comma
apply
tourism
, the government needs to take care of historical places, and also
the originally
historical witnesses are both can be protected and developed. Change the word
original
As a consequence
, most of the suburbs can be avoided urbanization
by rising tourism
.
Otherwise
, the drawback of the upward trend in tourist service is the interfered culture
. To explain it further
, different nations have individual cultures so when visiting, people may lose the valuably personalized culture
. However
, when tourists visit different places, they can learn and enrich their knowledge about the culture
. Taking China as a specific example can not oppose that their clothes are quite the same as Vietnamese clothes which is the result of the combination of culture
. Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
Hence
, nations may lose a part of their own culture
but it can have a cultural variety due to
the tourists.
In conclusion, tourism
becomes
a top Wrong verb form
has become
sources
of revenue in many nations may cause the loss in Correct the article-noun agreement
source
culture
was outweighed by solving the
Correct article usage
apply
unemployment
along with
declining the
Correct article usage
apply
urbanization
.Submitted by 11E4 Community on
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introduction conclusion present
Work on constructing a clearer introduction and conclusion that outline the main points of the essay and provide a summary or final thought on the topic. Present these sections more coherently and make their relation to the topic more explicit.
logical structure
Ensure the essay has a logical sequence of ideas. Use cohesive devices appropriately to link sentences and paragraphs, and to guide the reader through the argument. Consider adding headings or clearer transition phrases between paragraphs.
supported main points
Support the main ideas with detailed and fully developed arguments. Use more complex sentences to explain the advantages and disadvantages of tourism, ensuring that each main point has a clear explanation and supporting evidence.
complete response
Make sure the response fully addresses the question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Dedicate parts of the essay to both sides of the argument to give a balanced view, and ensure ideas are directly related to the topic of tourism.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive for clearer and more comprehensive ideas by elaborating on points and providing more developed examples. Focus on clarity in expressing arguments and use a variety of sentence structures to enhance the readability of the text.
relevant specific examples
While relevant examples are included, consider expanding upon these with more specific details or statistics to strengthen the argument. Use examples that directly support the main ideas presented in the essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example