Tourism has become one of the leading sources of revenue in many countries. Do the advantages of tourism outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A common trend frequently around the increase in
tourism
Use synonyms
makes some countries much more developed than in the past which is handling the
unemployment
Use synonyms
issue
as well as
Linking Words
reduced
urbanization
Use synonyms
outweighed the snag is the cultural interference. One of the fundamental benefits of developing
tourism
Use synonyms
is tackling
unemployment
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, many residents had a limited chance to develop their careers but
due to
Linking Words
visitors, people there can sell local goods or foods.
For example
Linking Words
, in Vietnam, people being workers are rapidly increasing by roughly 60% in comparison with the past with the developing
tourism
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
tourism
Use synonyms
becomes a leading source
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
deal with the
unemployment
Use synonyms
problem. Another considerable advantage of increasing
tourism
Use synonyms
is cutting down
urbanization
Use synonyms
. To put it simply, most visitors want to tourist the most natural destinations
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and to develop
tourism
Use synonyms
, the government needs to take care of historical places, and
also
Linking Words
the
originally
Change the word
original
show examples
historical witnesses are both can be protected and developed.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, most of the suburbs can be avoided
urbanization
Use synonyms
by rising
tourism
Use synonyms
.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, the drawback of the upward trend in tourist service is the interfered
culture
Use synonyms
. To explain it
further
Linking Words
, different nations have individual cultures so when visiting, people may lose the valuably personalized
culture
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, when tourists visit different places, they can learn and enrich their knowledge about the
culture
Use synonyms
. Taking China as a specific example can not oppose that their clothes are quite the same as Vietnamese clothes which is the result of the combination of
Use synonyms
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
, nations may lose a part of their own
culture
Use synonyms
but it can have a cultural variety
due to
Linking Words
the tourists. In conclusion,
tourism
Use synonyms
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
a top
sources
Correct the article-noun agreement
source
show examples
of revenue in many nations may cause the loss in
culture
Use synonyms
was outweighed by solving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unemployment
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
declining
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urbanization
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Work on constructing a clearer introduction and conclusion that outline the main points of the essay and provide a summary or final thought on the topic. Present these sections more coherently and make their relation to the topic more explicit.
logical structure
Ensure the essay has a logical sequence of ideas. Use cohesive devices appropriately to link sentences and paragraphs, and to guide the reader through the argument. Consider adding headings or clearer transition phrases between paragraphs.
supported main points
Support the main ideas with detailed and fully developed arguments. Use more complex sentences to explain the advantages and disadvantages of tourism, ensuring that each main point has a clear explanation and supporting evidence.
complete response
Make sure the response fully addresses the question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Dedicate parts of the essay to both sides of the argument to give a balanced view, and ensure ideas are directly related to the topic of tourism.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive for clearer and more comprehensive ideas by elaborating on points and providing more developed examples. Focus on clarity in expressing arguments and use a variety of sentence structures to enhance the readability of the text.
relevant specific examples
While relevant examples are included, consider expanding upon these with more specific details or statistics to strengthen the argument. Use examples that directly support the main ideas presented in the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: