More and more people are moving from rural areas to live in cities. What problems can this cause? How can these problems be solved? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

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Many
of
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apply
show examples
people
are moving from
countryside
areas
to live in
cities
. I think
this
issues
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issue
show examples
can be happening because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
job
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of job
show examples
opportunities
and they want to upgrade their life quality. In order to tackle
this
problem, the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
should put more of their attention to
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
job
opportunities
and
renovate
Wrong verb form
renovating
show examples
the
countryside
to be more modern. Recently, many
people
choose to live in
cities
rather than in rural
areas
. I
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
this
situation can
be happened
Change to the active voice
happen
show examples
because
people
tend to find
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
more easily if they move to
cities
like
capital
Add an article
the capital
show examples
of their own region.
Also
, some of them wanted to
improved
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improve
show examples
their life quality by finding a new
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
to live in. In my experience, I used to live in Kalimantan which is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
rural
areas
Fix the agreement mistake
area
show examples
in
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of
show examples
Indonesia, and it is
hardly
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hard
show examples
to find a
propper
Correct your spelling
proper
show examples
mall. They actually have one but it is much smaller than in the capital, which is Jakarta. In order to tackle these problems, I
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
will play a big role
to enhance
Change preposition
in enhancing
show examples
job
opportunities
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
in rural
areas
. They need to increase their wages so
people
who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
currently living in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
can
fullfilled
Correct your spelling
fulfil
fulfilled
their daily
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
without moving to live in
cities
just
Correct word choice
and just
show examples
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
.
Also
, the
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
need to
improved
Change the verb
improve
show examples
the facilities in the
countryside
so citizens can live more
comfortable
Change the word
comfortably
show examples
.
To sum up
, there are still citizens that moving to live in
cities
from their current place. Because it is hard for them to find a proper
job
,
also
most of them
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
to
improved
Change the verb
improve
show examples
their life qualities. To solve these problems, I think
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
governments
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
a big role because they need to put more of their attention
to increase
Change preposition
into increasing
show examples
job
opportunities
and
renovate
Wrong verb form
renovating
show examples
the
countryside
to be more modern.
Submitted by bmaharani04 on

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structure
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paragraphing
Improve paragraphing by separating ideas into clear, logical paragraphs that each start with a topic sentence and are followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence.
linking words
To enhance logical flow, use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs. Include sentences that smoothly transition from one idea to the next.
idea development
Develop ideas fully with extended explanations, rather than listing points. Go into more detail about how and why each problem is caused and give more comprehensive solutions.
language use
Proofread your work to correct grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Make sure verbs agree with their subjects, and tenses are consistent throughout.
examples
Use specific examples to illustrate your points. Personal experiences are good, but also try to include broader examples or evidence that support your argument.
task relevance
Refer back to the question periodically to ensure you are directly addressing it. Your introduction and conclusion should mirror each other in addressing the task requirements.
vocabulary
Increase your range of vocabulary by using synonyms and more complex expressions to convey your points, avoiding repetitions of the same words.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • metropolitan
  • infrastructure
  • sustainable
  • urban sprawl
  • gentrification
  • commuter
  • carbon footprint
  • renewable resources
  • telecommuting
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