IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts below show the growth in the population in some of the world’s largest cities as well as the population distribution in urban and rural areas. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the growth in the population in some of the world’s largest cities as well as the population distribution in urban and rural areas. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #growth #population #world’s #cities #distribution #areas #information #features #comparisons
The chart given compares the surge of
world's
Correct article usage
the world's
show examples
population
 in certain highly populated cities. From the general overview, it can be seen there was a significant increase each of years. Starting with the year 1970
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the birth rate was the lowest, Tokyo became the topmost
population
 growth with approximately 15
million
 citizens
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 there followed by New York and Shanghai where those two cities had more than 10
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
citizens. On the other side, Bombay citizens were only 5
million
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
followed
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 Jakarta which was half of total Bombay's
population
.
Moreover
,
while
 the majority of cities showed a big growth
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 total
population
, New
York
Change noun form
York's
show examples
 numbers did not rise significantly which only showed less than 5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 from 1970 to 2010. More than that, Tokyo still had the highest
population
 even in 2010 with more than 25
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
folks
along side
Correct your spelling
alongside
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Bombay which nearly shared
exact
Correct article usage
the exact
show examples
 same numbers.
Furthermore
, Jakarta grew remarkably from less than 5
million
 in 1970 to more than 5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 per
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
 which showed its peak in 2010 with almost 20
milion
Correct your spelling
million
 of individuals.
Submitted by writingielts0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words population, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: