Some people consider computers to be more of a hindrance than a help. Others believe that they have greatly increased human potentials. What is your opinion?

#people #computers #hindrance #help #potentials

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It is often held that

technology

Use synonyms

accessibility

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

a significant influence on

people

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While

Linking Words

people

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argue that these factors are contributing

Change preposition

show examples

indiscretion

Correct article usage

the indiscretion

show examples

usage of

technology

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in shaping human’s future.

This

Linking Words

essay disagrees that an increase in

technology

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is not beneficial to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mankind. The development of

technology

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itself has

increasing

Wrong verb form

increased

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easiest

Correct article usage

the easiest

show examples

access for

people

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and

help

Wrong verb form

helped

show examples

them to ease chores in daily life.

Morover

Correct your spelling

Moreover

people

Use synonyms

can search and learn about something they don’t know through

searching

Replace the word

show examples

engine

Fix the agreement mistake

engines

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. It is

therefore

Linking Words

agreed that

technology

Use synonyms

is a very worthwhile tool for everyone. Computer is a prime example,

Linking Words

while

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

can use it to enhance human potential:

Correct word choice

and boosted

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boosted

Wrong verb form

boost

show examples

productivity, creativity, and innovation in various fields.

However

Linking Words

, many agree and feel that

technology

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deprives

people

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of real human interaction. Human interaction teaches

people

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valuable skills

such

Linking Words

as discourse and empathy.

For instance

Linking Words

, you still can interact with

people

Use synonyms

through social media like Zoom, Skype, or Facebook.

On the other hand

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will allow you to gain global communication without limited access.

You

Add a verb

You are

You were

show examples

able to connect with cross-cultural collaboration and expand potential networking. Despite that, it is still possible to achieve that if

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

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can

acts

Change the verb form

act

show examples

wise and decline the dependency on

technology

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. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

the benefits of

technology

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, particularly

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

, allow human

being

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

show examples

to own accessible tool which leads

Change preposition

to more

show examples

limitless information all over the world, some still feel that it might be a threat and now allow

people

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to curb face-to-face interaction.

However

Linking Words

, as long as we carefully consider the importance

Change preposition

of task

show examples

task

Fix the agreement mistake

tasks

show examples

in our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

and be wise in the usage of

technology

Use synonyms

overall

Linking Words

it is clearly positive.

Submitted by sofinnovita on Sun Jan 21 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction and Conclusion

Your introduction sets out your viewpoint but it lacks a clear thesis statement outlining the essay structure. It's important to explicitly present the essay's main arguments to guide the reader.

Logical Structure

Aim to use a wider range of linking words and cohesive devices to improve the essay's flow. Ensure that paragraphs are well-structured and ideas seamlessly connect to one another.

Supported Main Points

Your main points are broadly supported, but you'll benefit from providing more concrete examples and evidence to back up your claims. Avoid general statements; specificity strengthens an argument.

Complete Response

Make sure to directly address the essay prompt and cover all aspects of the task. The response feels incomplete and tangential at points, deviating from the central topic.

Clear Comprehensive Ideas

Sharpen and elaborate on your ideas to fully explore the issues raised. Utilize complex sentences and a clearer progression of thoughts to enhance your argument.

Relevant Specific Examples

Incorporate specific, real-world examples to illustrate your points. Anecdotes, statistics, or historical references can make your argument more persuasive and grounded.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Productivity
Innovation
Accessibility
Globalization
Automation
Cybersecurity
Ecological footprint
Sustainable computing
Vision strain
Carpal tunnel syndrome

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Some people consider computers to be more of a hindrance than a help. Others believe that they have greatly increased human potentials. What is your opinion?

Your opinion

nowadays, people are purchasing too many unnecessary goods. how it influences individuals and society? is it a negative or positive development?

Despite the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.