Some people consider computers to be more of a hindrance than a help. Others believe that they have greatly increased human potentials. What is your opinion?

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It is often held that
technology
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accessibility
have
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has
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a significant influence on
people
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.
While
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people
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argue that these factors are contributing
on
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to
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indiscretion
Correct article usage
the indiscretion
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usage of
technology
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in shaping human’s future.
This
Linking Words
essay disagrees that an increase in
technology
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is not beneficial to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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mankind. The development of
technology
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itself has
increasing
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increased
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easiest
Correct article usage
the easiest
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access for
people
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and
help
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helped
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them to ease chores in daily life.
Morover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
people
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can search and learn about something they don’t know through
searching
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search
show examples
engine
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engines
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. It is
therefore
Linking Words
agreed that
technology
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is a very worthwhile tool for everyone. Computer is a prime example,
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
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people
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can use it to enhance human potential:
Correct word choice
and boosted
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boosted
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boost
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productivity, creativity, and innovation in various fields.
However
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, many agree and feel that
technology
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deprives
people
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of real human interaction. Human interaction teaches
people
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valuable skills
such
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as discourse and empathy.
For instance
Linking Words
, you still can interact with
people
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through social media like Zoom, Skype, or Facebook.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
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will allow you to gain global communication without limited access.
You
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You are
You were
show examples
able to connect with cross-cultural collaboration and expand potential networking. Despite that, it is still possible to achieve that if
human
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humans
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can
acts
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act
show examples
wise and decline the dependency on
technology
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. In conclusion,
while
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the benefits of
technology
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, particularly
computer
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computers
show examples
, allow human
being
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beings
show examples
to own accessible tool which leads
more
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to more
show examples
limitless information all over the world, some still feel that it might be a threat and now allow
people
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to curb face-to-face interaction.
However
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, as long as we carefully consider the importance
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of task
show examples
task
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tasks
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in our
life
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lives
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and be wise in the usage of
technology
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,
overall
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it is clearly positive.
Submitted by sofinnovita on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction sets out your viewpoint but it lacks a clear thesis statement outlining the essay structure. It's important to explicitly present the essay's main arguments to guide the reader.
Logical Structure
Aim to use a wider range of linking words and cohesive devices to improve the essay's flow. Ensure that paragraphs are well-structured and ideas seamlessly connect to one another.
Supported Main Points
Your main points are broadly supported, but you'll benefit from providing more concrete examples and evidence to back up your claims. Avoid general statements; specificity strengthens an argument.
Complete Response
Make sure to directly address the essay prompt and cover all aspects of the task. The response feels incomplete and tangential at points, deviating from the central topic.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Sharpen and elaborate on your ideas to fully explore the issues raised. Utilize complex sentences and a clearer progression of thoughts to enhance your argument.
Relevant Specific Examples
Incorporate specific, real-world examples to illustrate your points. Anecdotes, statistics, or historical references can make your argument more persuasive and grounded.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Productivity
  • Innovation
  • Accessibility
  • Globalization
  • Automation
  • Cybersecurity
  • Ecological footprint
  • Sustainable computing
  • Vision strain
  • Carpal tunnel syndrome
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