Some people consider computers to be more of a hindrance than a help. Others believe that they have greatly increased human potentials. What is your opinion?

It is often held that
technology
accessibility
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a significant influence on
people
.
While
people
argue that these factors are contributing
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
indiscretion
Correct article usage
the indiscretion
show examples
usage of
technology
in shaping human’s future.
This
essay disagrees that an increase in
technology
is not beneficial to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mankind. The development of
technology
itself has
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
easiest
Correct article usage
the easiest
show examples
access for
people
and
help
Wrong verb form
helped
show examples
them to ease chores in daily life.
Morover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
people
can search and learn about something they don’t know through
searching
Replace the word
search
show examples
engine
Fix the agreement mistake
engines
show examples
. It is
therefore
agreed that
technology
is a very worthwhile tool for everyone. Computer is a prime example,
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
can use it to enhance human potential:
Correct word choice
and boosted
show examples
boosted
Wrong verb form
boost
show examples
productivity, creativity, and innovation in various fields.
However
, many agree and feel that
technology
deprives
people
of real human interaction. Human interaction teaches
people
valuable skills
such
as discourse and empathy.
For instance
, you still can interact with
people
through social media like Zoom, Skype, or Facebook.
On the other hand
,
this
will allow you to gain global communication without limited access.
You
Add a verb
You are
You were
show examples
able to connect with cross-cultural collaboration and expand potential networking. Despite that, it is still possible to achieve that if
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
can
acts
Change the verb form
act
show examples
wise and decline the dependency on
technology
. In conclusion,
while
the benefits of
technology
, particularly
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
, allow human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
to own accessible tool which leads
more
Change preposition
to more
show examples
limitless information all over the world, some still feel that it might be a threat and now allow
people
to curb face-to-face interaction.
However
, as long as we carefully consider the importance
Change preposition
of task
show examples
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
and be wise in the usage of
technology
,
overall
it is clearly positive.
Submitted by sofinnovita on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction sets out your viewpoint but it lacks a clear thesis statement outlining the essay structure. It's important to explicitly present the essay's main arguments to guide the reader.
Logical Structure
Aim to use a wider range of linking words and cohesive devices to improve the essay's flow. Ensure that paragraphs are well-structured and ideas seamlessly connect to one another.
Supported Main Points
Your main points are broadly supported, but you'll benefit from providing more concrete examples and evidence to back up your claims. Avoid general statements; specificity strengthens an argument.
Complete Response
Make sure to directly address the essay prompt and cover all aspects of the task. The response feels incomplete and tangential at points, deviating from the central topic.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Sharpen and elaborate on your ideas to fully explore the issues raised. Utilize complex sentences and a clearer progression of thoughts to enhance your argument.
Relevant Specific Examples
Incorporate specific, real-world examples to illustrate your points. Anecdotes, statistics, or historical references can make your argument more persuasive and grounded.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Productivity
  • Innovation
  • Accessibility
  • Globalization
  • Automation
  • Cybersecurity
  • Ecological footprint
  • Sustainable computing
  • Vision strain
  • Carpal tunnel syndrome
What to do next:
Look at other essays: