The map below shows 2 possible sites (S1 and S2) of a new super market planned for the town of GARLSDON

The map below shows 2 possible sites (S1 and S2) of a new super market planned for the town of GARLSDON
The map given depicts the possible sites for the new town's supermarket in Garlsdon city which has a 65.000 population. There are two places that are considered to be the new location, S1 and S2.
Overall
, both sites have their own advantages and superiorities. The two sites generally are very easy to access as there are many accesses available to get there. The first location is S1 which is located in the northwest
side
of the city. Placed in the countryside, S1 is a quite strategic space as it is only 12 km away from the Hindon population which has 10.000 population. The accessibility of S1 is
also
great because it is located between two main access of
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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, railways and main roads, making it easy for people to visit.
Additionally
, there is a huge housing area on the west
side
and industrial companies just on the right
side
of the site. Next is the second possible spot, or S2,
that is
surrounded by the industry. It is considerably easy and very convenient to shop here since there will be no traffic congestion in the town centre.
Moreover
, there is access to public transportation because there are railways available in the whole field. S2 is close to the Bransdon and Cransdon community and it can be reached via the main roads.
Lastly
, on the north
side
of S2, there is a residential area that will add more probability for people to shop here.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words side with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • site selection
  • supermarket
  • residential areas
  • main roads
  • public transport
  • traffic congestion
  • peak shopping hours
  • parking availability
  • suppliers
  • delivery logistics
  • amenities
  • shopper convenience
  • environmental implications
  • green spaces
  • urban development
  • economic development
  • job creation
  • local businesses
  • market saturation
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