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Band 3.5

People are surrounded by advertising which has an increasing effect on our lives. Do you think the positive effects of this outweigh the negative effects?

#people #effect #lives #effects #outweigh
In modern times, technology has a strong effect on
people
's lives. Especially, advertisements which spread
in
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apply
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everywhere. Some
people
 believe that advertisement has many
drwbacks
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
while
,
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 others including myself
I
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apply
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opin that the benefits of
this
 trend outweigh the negative points. On the
one
 hand, there are some drawbacks to watching these promotions. The first
one
 is advertising forces children or teenagers to buy the products that the celebrities have .
As a result
 ,
this
 pesters the parents .The second
one
 is that the advertising appears in the middle
while
 using any programs ,
it
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which
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 prevent
people
 from enjoying these applications. The
last
one
 is to lead
people
 to follow
un healthy
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unhealthy
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lifestyle
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lifestyles
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beacuse
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because
 they want to try every fast food
the
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they
show examples
 watch
it
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apply
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in advertisements.
On the other hand
, it has more benefits associated with
this
 phenomenon. The most important
one
 is that advertising supports companies to show their goods and services
in
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everywhere around the world and
this
 helps to convince
people
 to buy their products.
For example
, there is a study showing that around 80./.
of
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companies are successful
due to
 their advertising.
Moreover
, advertisements serve as a
mean
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means
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 of raising awareness about any social issue.
For example
 , increase
people
's awareness about The dangers of smoking. In conclusion,
,
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apply
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no doubt there are few disadvantages associated with the announcements but the advertisement are more beneficial to the society.
Submitted by itssaralshaibani on

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task response
Make sure your introduction clearly addresses the question and outlines your position. Use a thesis statement to summarize your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Develop each point with a clear topic sentence followed by an explanation and/or example. Ensure paragraphs transition smoothly from one to the next.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. Avoid generic statements by giving concrete evidence or studies where possible.
language
Pay attention to grammar and spelling to ensure clarity and understanding. Consistently check for punctuation and sentence structure errors.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer behavior
  • purchasing decisions
  • impulsive buying
  • materialism
  • economic growth
  • competition and innovation
  • personal finances
  • information dissemination
  • misleading information
  • cultural norms
  • societal values
  • diversity
  • social causes
  • stereotypes
  • unrealistic standards
  • psychological effects
  • mental fatigue
  • stress
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